Twins Change the Future, Part One
by Arrows the Wolf
Summary: A reading the books/ Harry has a twin story. Fred and Harry's twin sister are in limbo, and find the books so that everyone can read them. A different kind of twin for a different kind of story. Read and review if you want!
1. Prologue

**Hola! So I haven't been on here in a while… Blame my computer. My cousin turned it on and then off the wrong way, and then my computer (Whose name is Jack) decided it would completely erase all of my settings! So yeah, big stuff happening on the computer troubles department!**

**Wait, why am I saying I haven't been here on the HP page? I've never posted a story on here! *whacks self on head* But anyway, now I'm here and I am going to post a story on here… it's a Harry has a twin/reading the books story. I'm a lazy person and couldn't be bothered to write out a huge story for Harry's twin and such, so I decided to just have them read the books and have Harry and his twin comment on how it really happened. Don't worry; this twin is a little different from those others. She's a prankster and a… well, I'll explain that later. Anyhow, I have put the setting of the prologue at the beginning in Limbo for a reason (and I must thank JelloDVDs for the idea of Limbo.) and you will see why come third book. The setting of the actual reading is Harry's year, and there's also a major reason for that. Fred plays a pretty major part in this and George somewhat. Fred is more important because he dies. I'm just saying. So without farther ado, Silly Songs with Larry! I mean ****Twins Change the Future, Part One!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, then Harry would have a twin sister named Sidney. 'Nuff said. Onto Gondor! *face palm* I mean the story! *walks out muttering about how she needs to get her head out of Lord of the Rings quotes***

**Twins Change the Future, Part One**

**Prologue**

"Sidney, you just had to go and get yourself killed."

"That makes it sound as though somebody else killed me. I killed myself, Fred."

"And why did you do that?" asked a James Potter.

"It was the only way to get rid of Voldy, James. I was one of his Horcruxes."

"What- what's a Horcrux?" said Sirius Black, who had come up to ask James if he wanted to have a race.

"It's a piece of a wizard's soul. If you have one you can never truly die!" explained Sidney.

"Um, okay. But what does that have to do with- hey, what's that?" James broke off in the middle of his sentence to look at a glowing pile of fluff. The glowing fluff solidified into seven books of varying lengths and colors.

"Well, the title on the first book says **Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." ** said Fred as he picked up the first bluish colored book.

Sidney's eyes lit up. "That's brilliant! We can use these books to send them down to earth and change the future! Are you for it, Fred?"

"Heck yeah! This'll be great!" replied Fred, whose eyes were also glowing with excitement.

"Hey, why don't James and I get asked?" Sirius whined.

"Because you two will get some other "brilliant" idea and then keep annoying me until I cave unless I ask first."

"Fair enough." James grinned. Sirius wasn't satisfied, but he knew when he was beat.

_Harry's third year, right after Sirius broke into the castle and attacked the Fat Lady_

Professor Dumbledore was about to announce what was going on and what the students were going to be doing when he was interrupted by the arrival of a large package of books and a note.

_Dear Professors, Harry, George, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and all the other students,_

_Those of us writing to you, we're dead. Every single last one of us. But don't worry, we're sending you these books to help change that._

_We're also sending some friends along. Please don't be judgmental to one of them. Actually, two of them once you finish third year. They don't deserve it. (_**Yes, the second one does.**_) Pay no attention to that note. Please. I'm begging you._

_Alright, that's about it. Au revoir, little biscuit!_

_Arrows, Prongs, Stripes, and Padfoot_

Poor Dumbledore couldn't even get a sentence out before he was blinded by a flash of light. When everyone could see again, two babies were revealed.

"Who in the name of Merlin are those two?" asked George Weasley.

"George, I'm hurt. You don't recognize those two stunning children?" asked a thirteen year old Sidney.

"No way could those two be you and Harry!" Fred cried. "That makes no sense what so ever!

"Life itself doesn't make sense, Fred. Where have you been the past fifteen years?" George chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure he's been living under a rock. Anyway," Sidney picked up herself, "I don't know what to do with myself or Harry. I'm not even entirely sure how old we are."

Once again, before anyone could say anything, a flash of light, this one brighter, lit up the room. This one revealed a red headed woman and black haired be-speckled man. The woman was clearly freaking out. "Harry! Where did he go? And Sidney! She's gone!" then she noticed Harry on the ground and picked him up, and then resumed freaking out. "Where's Sidney?" Her eyes traveled slowly across the group of students, and came to rest on Sidney, who was still holding her younger self.

"YOU!" the lady screeched. "Put my daughter down! NOW!"

"Okay, okay! Calm down Lily, I'm putting my younger self down."

As soon as Sidney put the baby Sidney down, Lily yelled at her again. "What did you do to my daughter, you child napper?"

All of the other students had backed away slowly, yet Sidney was still standing there, calm as rain shower. "Lily, think about whom I am and why I would never hurt your daughter."

Lily calmed down enough to finally look at Sidney full on. Her mouth fell open, and she gasped. "Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, Sidney! James, look who it is!"

James came over to stand by Lily. "Well I'll be a griffin's uncle! It's Sidney!"

"Did somebody say Sidney?" three new voices asked simultaneously. It was a younger version of Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin.

"Hey, Sirius, Pete, Remus. You know, it feels as though I just saw you thirty seconds ago, Remus. Oh wait, I did. Which means, Mr. Black, you owe me thirty Galleons." said Sidney, grinning broadly. "Remmy's a professor now. Anyway, why are you so surprised to see me, James? You know I go to Hogwarts."

"Yes, but considering I wasn't planning on seeing you this age again for a while, it kind of shocked me."

"Okay, that's understandable. So how's life?" When nobody answered Sidney, she sighed. "Fine. Sirius, how's life?"

"Quite nice, actually. I had a most interesting experience yesterday with you and Harry."

Really? Do tell, Padfoot."

"You see, James was nice enough to invite Moony, Wormtail, and I over to dinner."

"You make it sound as though I never do that! You guys are over at least once a week!" James interrupted.

"James, shut it! My time to talk. Anyway, after we finished our wonderful meal, Frank and Alice dropped by for a visit, and they brought Neville with them."

Hearing his parents' names brought Neville to the front of the room. "You know my parents?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, why do you ask?" Lily said, looking at Neville.

"No reason." Neville said quickly. "They just never mention you. I think it makes them really sad."

Sidney looked at Neville curiously, as though she knew that that wasn't the case with Neville's parents. "Continue on, Sirius."

"Yes. So as you know, Frank and Alice dropped by for a visit, and they brought Neville with them. You and Harry and Neville get along well, so of course you guys were just staring at each other. As we got to talking, we didn't really pay attention to you. And that was a mistake. You, Sidney, managed to get into James' pranking stuff, and Harry and Neville figured out how to set off a dung bomb. That was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen!"

"So Neville and Harry managed to set off a dung bomb? Neville! Harry! You must come pranking with me sometime!" Sidney grinned.

"No!" yelled Professor McGonagall. "Three pranksters are enough!"

Sidney pouted. "You're no fun, Minnie."

"So anyway, how is your life, Peter?"

But before Peter could answer, Dumbledore spoke instead. "Much as this conversation is most amusing, I think it would be best if we start reading now." said Dumbledore, relieved not to be interrupted. "There may be a time limit on the books, and we do not want to waste any time."

"Right. Okay, I'll read first." volunteered Sidney. "Hey, these aren't about me! They only have Harry's name."

"Odd." commented Cedric Diggory.

"Okay, here we go. Chapter One, **The Boy Who Lived."**

**So, what do you think? Does anybody have a guess as to the reason why James, Sidney, Lily, and the other Marauders know each other so well? You don't have to review. I will ignore flames, and just to irritate the flamers, I'll thank them for the reviews! However, constructive criticism is appreciated. And this is no romance story, the only couples will be James and Lily and Frank and Alice if I decide to bring them in. Although I might do something with Fred and Sidney in the romance department… but probably not. So anyway, reviews and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism are appreciated!**


	2. The Boy Who Lived

**It's me again! I was so excited that I got one review within a day (it's Harry Potter, with all the stories getting updated I was sure it was going to be two or three before I got a review, if any at all) that I decided to update again really soon!**

**I'm one of those people who like to answer to reviews.**

**Dreamer-.-LYNX: Thank you so much for your review!It's actually supposed to be chaotic and a little confusing at the beginning. My English teacher has taught me to begin inside the story, and so I purposely started at a strange place for a reason. And of course you don't know the characters, particularly Sidney. I don't blame you in the least for that. Sidney's going to be a bit of a mystery until the end of second year, so I hope you can hang on for a while.**

**To the rest of you- Yes, you heard my answer correctly. You have to wait until the end of second year to find out more about Sidney. I can give you a bit of her personality though, in this chapter. She may seem to have anger management issues, by the way. But that's not her fault. She has no anger issues on the **_**human**_** side of things. **

**Anyway, onto the second chapter!**

"_Okay, here we go. Chapter One, __**The Boy Who Lived.**__"_

**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.**

"Yep, that's Petunia and Vernon Dursley, alright." Sidney said with a very ugly look on her face.

**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.**

"What are drills?" several pure bloods asked their Muggle-born friends.

"Drills are wonderful tools used to put holes in stuff or to screw in screws." Sidney answered the question for everybody.

Everybody stared at her.

"What? Drills are useful pranking tools. All pranksters should have them."

**He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache.**

"Why is his mustache important?" asked somebody in the back.

**Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors.**

"What a lovely person." George commented.

**The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.**

Sidney and Harry began laughing hysterically.

"The- book- called- Dudley- small." wheezed Sidney.

They continued laughing for a while, until Draco Malfoy shouted "Get on with reading the books!"

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister,** **but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish**

"Not a word." said Lily, Hermione, and all the Ravenclaws.

"I think it is." said Sidney."That's why it's going in to my notebook of words."

"You still have that thing?" asked James. When Sidney nodded, he asked "How many words does it have now?"

Sidney consulted her notebook, and then answered "Nine thousand six hundred seventy two."

The Marauders whistled in unison. "You've added on quite a bit." Remus commented.

**as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street.**

"They'd say! Wow, look at those strange folk who just magically appeared on our street!" Fred and George grinned.

**The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that.**

"A child like what?" Lily snarled.

"Two awesome kids who get into everything." Harry replied.

**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work,**

"He does that too? Fred gasped. "I have to change my morning routine now!"

**and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.**

"What a spoiled brat!" Sirius said.

**None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.**

"But doesn't that mean they have mail?" asked a confused pure-blood Hufflepuff.

"Not in the Muggle world." Hermione answered.

**At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.**

"Brat." Sidney and the Marauders called in unison.

"**Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.**

"What is with the _little_? Dudley has not ever been considered little." Harry shook his head.

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar — a cat reading a map.**

"What?" was the general question around the room.

**For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen — then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light.** **Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive — no, **_**looking **_**at the sign; cats couldn't read maps **_**or **_**signs.**

"My cat can read!" protested Sidney. Everyone looked at her as though she were crazy. "Well he can!" she huffed, then turned back to reading.

**Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.**

"Really?" James gasped. "I thought he was hoping to get a large order of rocket ships!"

"Why?" snorted Sidney. "It's not like he can go to Pigfarts."

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.**

"What's so strange about that?" asked the wizard family students.

The muggle-borns answered "Muggles don't dress in cloaks."

**Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes — the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdoes standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly . Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt —these people were obviously collecting for something… yes, that would be it.**

"He's such a bright person." Cedric said drily.

**The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

"NO! DON'T PUT YOUR MIND BACK ON DRILLS!" cried Fred, George, and Sidney dramatically.

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. **_**He **_**didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead.**

"What's so strange about that?" asked Luna Lovegood dreamily.

"Muggles hardly ever see owls." Ginny explained.

**Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more.**

"He's such a nice man." Sirius shook his head.

**He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.**

"You don't need it, Dursley." Lily said.

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy.**

"That's because anything unnatural makes you uneasy, you git." spat Harry.

**This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

"**The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard —"**

"— **yes, their son, Harry —"**

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead.**

"Yes! He died!"

**Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.**

"Aw, man, he's not dead."

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone,**

"No need to be hasty now." Remus said.

**and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache, thinking… no, he was being stupid.**

"I thought he was already stupid." Sidney commented.

**Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew **_**was **_**called 'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.**

"Harold Potter? Yuck. Harry sounds a heck of a lot better." Ron said.

**There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her — if **_**he'd **_**had a sister like that…**

_Lily is much better than you, Petunia! _Professor Snape thought.

**but all the same, those people in cloaks…He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

"Is the poor guy okay?" George asked.

"**Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell.**

**It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak.**

"How dare he wear a violet cloak?" James and Sirius cried, sounding scandalized. "He should be wearing a bright green one!"

**He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last!"**

"Oh, no! We are NOT talking about that day." Sidney muttered to herself.

**Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"**

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

"Wait. This guy's arms fit? He must be like a gorilla! Super longs arms, short legs." Sidney smiled.

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.**

James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Sidney, Fred, and George gasped. "He doesn't approve of imagination?"

"No wonder he's so grumpy all the time! You need imagination to keep you happy!" Sirius said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw—and it didn't improve his mood — was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning.**

"Odd." commented a Hufflepuff.

**It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes.**

"Markings around its eyes? Sounds like that cat could be an Animagus." Hermione said thoughtfully.

"**Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

"If it's an Animagus, then telling it to shoo won't work." Cho Chang called.

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look.**

"Sounds like McGonagall." James chuckled.

Sidney looked as though a lightning bolt had just struck her. She turned to McGonagall. "Professor, where were on October 31, 1981?"

McGonagall didn't answer.

"You wouldn't have happened to have been sitting on the garden wall of Number Four, Privet Drive, would you?"

Again, no answer.

"You were. There is no contest." Sidney said. "Why were you?"

For the third time, there was no answer. Sidney gave up asking questions and started reading again.

**Was this normal cat behavior? Mr. Dursley wondered. **

"It is if it's McGonagall."

**Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

"Who wants to bet that won't last?" James asked.

Sirius, Fred, and George raised their hands and each bet five galleons.

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!").**

Lily said "That's not something you should be proud of!"

**Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. **

"What is this normal? Is it some kind of disease? Ew, keep Dursley away from me! I might catch his normal!" Sidney cried.

**When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:**

"_**And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"**_

"_**Well, Ted,"**_

"Hey, Sirius. Isn't your cousin Dora's dad named Ted? He's a Muggle-born, right?" James asked.

"Yep." Sirius answered.

"Maybe it was him!" Peter spoke up for the first time. Sidney took note of his appearance, for back when she had really gotten to know Peter he wasn't usually this quiet unless he was ill or if there was something bad going on. He would also get bags under his eyes, and would lose quite a bit of weight. All of this seemed to be going on with Peter.

_**said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early — it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."**_

"Why would you want it to rain? Rain gets you all wet and then you have to shake it all off." Sidney said.

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters…Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her.**

"Ha! Pay up, guys!" James crowed.

Fred, George, and Sirius grudgingly handed him their money.

**He cleared his throat nervously. "Er — Petunia, dear — you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.**

"Likewise, Tuney." Lily muttered.

"**No," she said sharply. "Why?"**

"**Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls… shooting stars… and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today…"**

"_**So?**_**" snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

"So obviously something big is going on, you twit!" a seventh year Slytherin said as he rolled his eyes.

"**Well, I just thought… maybe… it was something to do with… you know… **_**her **_**crowd."**

A roar of rage echoed throughout the Great Hall.

"Her crowd?" yelled a Hufflepuff. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Sidney and Harry rolled their eyes. "It means witches and wizards."

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son — he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"**

"Sadly." Harry muttered.

"**I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

"**What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"**

"Howard Potter?" Sidney said. "Once again, Harry sounds better."

"**Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."**

Sidney growled. "It's a wonderful name! Much better than Dudley!"

"**Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."**

**He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.**

"Who were you waiting for, Professor?" Sidney asked, hoping to finally get an answer. There was once again no answer. She sighed and went back to reading.

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did… if it got out that they were related to a pair of — well, he didn't think he could bear it.**

"And what's wrong with us Potters?" James snarled.

"Well, most of us are slightly insane." Sidney grinned.

"A little insane?" Ron snorted. "You, Sidney are a lot insane."

**The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters **_**were **_**involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind… He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on — he yawned and turned over — it couldn't affect **_**them**_**…**

**How very wrong he was.**

"Yay! He was wrong!" George cheered.

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness.**

This time Sidney knew better than to ask. She knew she wasn't going to get an answer.

**It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

"That's a long time to sit." Fred whistled.

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

"Why?" asked Sidney, though she knew it was hopeless.

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt.**

"It's Dumbledore." Remus said at once.

**He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice.**

"How'd your nose get broken, Professor?" asked Dean Thomas.

"That is a story for another time, Mr. Thomas." smiled Dumbledore.

**This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

"I was right!" Remus cheered very unprofessor like.

"None of us disagreed with you, Remmy."

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome.**

"Oh, I'm sure he knew. He probably just didn't care." Lily said.

**He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."**

"Should have known what, Professor?" Sidney asked. When Dumbledore didn't answer, she whacked her head on the table and shouted "Why does nobody answer my questions?"

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop.**

"I want one!" all of the pranksters in the room shouted at once.

**He clicked it again — the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

"**Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."**

"I was right! Nobody can challenge the guessing powers of Sidney Potter ever again!" Sidney crowed.

James shook his head. "No one ever disagreed with you, Arrows."

Fred and George started. That name was very familiar.

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled. "How did you know it was me?" she asked.**

"Because Dumbledore knows everything there is to know." George said.

"**My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."**

"That would work too." George amended his previous statement.

"**You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

"You could have sat on the ground." Sidney said.

"**All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."**

Harry's eyes widened. "We cannot be talking about the day I think we are talking about."

"I think we are, Harry." Sidney sighed.

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

"**Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no — even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news."**

"I enjoy watching the news." Sidney said to nobody in particular.

**She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls… shooting stars… Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent — I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."**

"I think he's got a ton of sense when it comes to fun!" James said.

"**You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

"The war lasts that long?" the people from the past asked, looking up at the professors. They all nodded.

"Sweet Merlin." Sirius breathed.

"**I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors."**

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really **_**has **_**gone, Dumbledore?"**

"**It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore.**

**We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"**

"I would!" Sirius and James grinned.

"**A **_**what**_**?"**

"**A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of."**

"**No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. "As I say, even if You-Know-Who **_**has **_**gone —"**

"**My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You-Know-Who' nonsense — for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: **_**Voldemort**_**."**

A massive flinching party took place, with the exceptions of Sidney, Harry, James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus.

"Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself." Sidney said in a sing song voice.

"We know, Sidney. You say it at least thirteen times a day." Hermione rolled her eyes.

**Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name.**

"That's because you're one of the most powerful wizards ever." Percy Weasley said.

**"I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, **_**Voldemort**_**, was frightened of."**

"**You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

"Only because you're too- well- noble to use them." Lily and Hermione said.

"**Only because you're too — well —**_**noble **_**to use them."**

"You think like McGonagall, Lily, Hermione. We should teach you not to do that." Sidney grinned.

"Great minds think alike." Hermione said a little smugly.

**It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."**

The Great Hall resounded with many "We didn't need to know that" and "That's just plain disturbing." Statements.

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing next to the **_**rumors **_**that are flying around. You know what they're saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?"**

Sidney was shaking her head back and forth quickly. "We don't need to know, we don't need to know."

"Don't need to know what?" Remus queried.

"We don't need to know what stopped Voldemort."

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.**

"**What they're **_**saying**_**," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters.**

The Marauders and Lily gasped.

**The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are — are — that they're — **_**dead**_**."**

"No. We're not dead." said Lily.

**Dumbledore bowed his head.**

The Marauders and Lily couldn't speak. They were in shock.

**Professor McGonagall gasped.**

"**Lily and James… I can't believe it… I didn't want to believe it… Oh, Albus…"**

"Glad to know you care, Professor." James said softly.

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know… I know…" he said heavily.**

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry.**

Lily and James' gaze shifted to Harry and Sidney.

"We're here, aren't we? No need to worry." they said as one.

"But there is." Lily muttered.

"What is there to talk about?" Sidney asked.

"Your scars." James answered.

Both of the Potter twins automatically reached up to flatten their bangs.

"I'm sure that that will be covered soon." Harry said hastily.

**But he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke — and that's why he's gone."**

Everybody turned to stare at the Potter twins, but Sidney's evil eye glare had them looking away faster than you can say "Poke."

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

"**It's — it's **_**true**_**?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done… all the people he's killed… he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding… of all the things to stop him… but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"**

"**We can only guess." said Dumbledore. "We may never know."**

"You know though, sir." Sidney said matter-of-factly.

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"**

"Why is Hagrid coming?" James asked.

"**Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me **_**why **_**you're here, of all places?"**

"**I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."**

"What about me?" asked Sirius.

Now it was he who got no answers.

He kept on asking until Sidney said "Because everybody but me thinks you betrayed James and Lily and murdered Peter and thirteen others."

Sirius and James let out a string of protests.

"I know, I know. The story makes no sense as Pete's still alive." Sidney said calmingly.

"It also makes no sense as we're going to change Sirius from our secret keeper to Peter. So unless Sirius betrays us right before we change secret keepers, Peter has to be the one who betrays us. And Peter wouldn't do that as he's one of our closest friends." James said.

All the time james and Sirius had been protesting the older Remus, McGonagall, and Snape were shaking their heads.

"Sidney, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. They never told me that they changed secret keepers. Therefore, there is no way Sirius could be innocent." Remus said.

Sidney ignored him.

Snape said nothing.

McGonagall said "I know you want to believe the best in everybody, Sidney, but Sirius is not innocent."

Sidney flared up at that. "And you said that nobody could get past all those enchantments either, but a bunch of people did! And it almost cost one of them their lives! Maybe you should listen to the younger generation sometimes! We tend to know what we're talking about!"

By that point Sidney's entire figure was shaking. To those who didn't know her secret, she probably just seemed really mad. To those who knew her secret, they knew that if they didn't act quickly, certain people would get hurt. Therefore, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter started yelling out random quotes.

"Okay, Malfoy, that's like the ninth time you've mentioned Pigfarts. What is Pigfarts?"

That calmed down Sidney immediately.

"Pigfarts," she said, "is only the greatest wizarding school in the galaxy. It's where I'm being transferred next year."

Younger Remus, wanting to keep her happy for a little longer, said "That's absurd."

"You're absurd!" cried Sidney. No longer angry, she went back to reading.

"**You don't mean – you **_**can't **_**mean the people who live **_**here**_**?" cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore — you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son — I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!"**

"Of course he has too." Sidney muttered. "Our teachers love to torture us before we're even born."

James and Lily looked at each other, and frowned. Just how bad was living with the Dursleys?

"**It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

"You think you'll be able to explain this in a letter?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"Yes, that's a brilliant idea, professor. "Dear Petunia, your sister is dead and I'm giving you her son that somehow survived the killing curse. I could also give you her daughter, but instead I'm shipping her off to America to live with a family that isn't secretly a family of barn animals. Sincerely, the professor who wouldn't let you into Hogwarts.' Really, Dumbledore." Sidney said.

"**A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?**

"Sirius! Now you're thinking like a professor! You must be changed!" cried Sidney.

**These people will never understand him! He'll be famous — a legend — I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future — there will be books written about Harry — every child in our world will know his name!"**

"Not every child. The Muggle-borns won't know his name." Cedric Diggory pointed out.

"**Exactly." said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"**

"He's got a point." Younger Remus said.

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes — yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

"Because he would be able to conceal the Potters under there." a sixth year Slytherin rolled her eyes.

"**Hagrid's bringing him."**

"Go Hagrid!" the Gryffindor table cheered.

"**You think it —**_**wise **_**— to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"**

"I would trust Hagrid with my life." all four Potters said instantly.

"**I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.**

"NO!" wailed Sidney. "Now all of the Potters have to undergo therapy because we all think like professors!"

**I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to — what was that?"**

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky — and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

Sirius grinned. That was his motorcycle, most definitely.

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so **_**wild **_**— long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins.**

"These descriptions are amazing." smiled Sidney.

**In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.**

"And so begins the correcting of this book. There were actually two bundles of blankets." sighed Sidney.

"**Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

"Me." Sirius answered the past Dumbledore's question.

"**Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me.**

"See?"

"No one doubted you, Pads." Remus sighed.

**I've got him, sir."**

"**No problems, were there?"**

"**No, sir — house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol."**

"Aw, how cute!" the female population, Hermione and Lily included, cooed. Sidney didn't say anything.

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. **

"Aw." The female population minus Sidney cooed again.

"When is this going to end?" Harry muttered to Sidney.

"In about a page." Sidney whispered back.

**Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

"And we both hate that scar." Harry and Sidney said in unison.

The guests narrowed their eyes. Why would they hate their scars?

"**Is that where —?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

"**Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."**

"Whoop de freaking do." muttered Sidney.

"**Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

"Please do." Harry and Sidney practically begged. Dumbledore only shook his head.

"**Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.**

"Really?" asked the Marauders in interest.

Dumbledore nodded.

"Cool." they said.

**Well — give him here, Hagrid — we'd better get this over with."**

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

"**Could I — could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

"Aw." the female population said once again.

"Is this chapter almost over?" Harry groaned.

"Yes, thank Merlin." Sidney answered, relieved.

"**Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "You'll wake the Muggles!"**

"**S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it —Lily an' James dead — an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles —"**

By now Lily was nearly in tears.

"**Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two.**

**For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

"That's bad." said James nervously.

"Not as bad as leaving Harry out on a doorstep." Lily and Sidney said dangerously.

"**Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

"**Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I best get this bike away. G'night, Professor McGonagall — Professor Dumbledore, sir."**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

"**I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

"**Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley… He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter — the boy who lived!"**

"So the chapter's over with. I have a bone to pick with you, Dumbledore." Sidney said, turning around to glare at the headmaster. "How DARE you leave Harry out on a doorstep? In OCTOBER? He could have gotten sick and died!" she screeched.

"Calm down, Miss Potter. The book did not mention that I cast a heating charm over him to keep him warm."

"Oh. Okay. Sorry I snapped, sir. Anyway, who wants to read next?"

"I will." Ron volunteered. "Chapter Two, _**The Vanishing Glass.**_"


	3. The Vanishing Glass

**Hey! I'm really sorry for going so long between updates! From now on if I don't update just review me and tell me to update!**

**Also this chapter just absolutely bores me. I have no idea why.**

**Okay! Anything in **_italics _**is talking, movement, whatever in Limbo. I.E. **_"Why did you do that? Harry understands well enough what to do without you putting that in." James growled, pacing back and forth._

**Dreamer-.-LYNX: You really and truly like Sidney already? Really? And yes, anybody who can correctly reference AVPM/AVPS is of course always nice to have around.**

**Dancingpenguin7890: Please make a sequel. It'd be amazing if you would. Anyway, like I said in the last chapter I think it was? Maybe? I don't know. The story's supposed to be a little confusing. At least until second year. Although that may change. I haven't decided yet.**

**Oh, and by the way, I can't do private messaging. Unless I know you outside of fanfiction. But as none of my friends have accounts on here… ah well. Blame my parents for not letting me do PMs.**

**Oh! I don't own Harry Potter or AVPM/AVPS. I understand that AVPM and AVPS does not fit within the time period. But for all intensive purposes, Sidney, being the amazing witch that she is, has discovered those wonderful musicals and has shared them with her prankster best friends.**

**I also don't own any part of Titanic. There are spoilers of Titanic in this chapter! You've been warned.**

**And for clarification, the older professor Remus shall be referred to as Professor Lupin. Younger Remus shall just be called Remus.**

"**The Vanishing Glass,**" read Ron.

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all.**

"Boring aunt and uncle you have there." Cedric commented.

"I think you forget, Cedric, that these are the people who don't approve of imagination." Ernie Macmillan said.

**The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets**

"But that's what they are, right? Modern art beach balls?" Sidney asked, confused.

Harry just snorted.

— **but Dudley Dursley **

"What? Those pictures weren't modern art beach balls? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?" exclaimed Sidney.

**was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.**

"Did you get out of there?" Fred asked, bouncing up and down like a maniac.

"Fred, think about the summer of second year." Sidney said, rolling her eyes. "What do you think?"

**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

"**Up! Get up! Now!"**

"Ugh, I hate it when she does that to you." Lily winced.

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.**

"**Up!" she screeched.**

"Good Merlin, give him a minute!" James growled.

**Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.**

"But it wasn't a dream, Harry!" Colin Creevey shouted.

"I know that now, Colin." Harry said, rolling his eyes.

**His aunt was back outside the door.**

"**Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

"**Nearly," said Harry.**

"How can you be nearly up? You either are or aren't." said a blonde haired Ravenclaw.

Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Sidney looked at her oddly.

"**Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon.**

"Bacon? I love bacon!" Sidney exclaimed.

"We know, Sidney. You've said that three thousand sixty two times now." Sirius groaned.

Meanwhile Lily looked as though she were about to go into a conniption. "They made you cook?" she roared.

"Yes, but I _like _to cook. It's quite fun, actually." Harry replied casually.

**And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's**

Sidney was on the floor laughing. "Duddy. Am I allowed to call him that?" she wheezed.

"Well, you see, there's an even better one, but you'll just have to wait to hear it." Harry grinned.

**birthday."**

**Harry groaned.**

"**What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

"**Nothing, nothing…"**

**Dudley's birthday — how could he have forgotten?**

"Why would you want to remember it?" the Marauders asked in unison.

**Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider**

Ron and Sidney shuddered.

Harry looked at them in amusement. "I knew Ron was afraid of spiders, but Sidney?"

Sidney paled. "Blame Remus for that one."

Harry stared at her. "Do I want to know?"

James shook his head. "You do NOT want to know."

**off one of them, put them on. Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.**

The silence in the Hall was deafening. Then all at once it exploded into mass chaos.

The professors were yelling at Dumbledore. The Houses were yelling things about the Dursleys and yelling at the professors. The Marauders minus Peter (who hadn't been paying attention) and Lily were shouting (more like screaming) things that definitely should not be repeated.

The most terrifying things of all were Sidney, Ron and Hermione. Ron was looking as though he'd like to go do something horrible to the Dursley's property. He's not exactly one for killing. Hermione, on the other hand, was looking murderous. She was muttering things under her breath that scared the living daylights out of anyone who heard it. Sidney was something else entirely. She was growling like a wolf. Acting like one too. Sidney could be heard saying stuff like "Nobody messes with a member of the pack" and "How _**DARE **_they treat my beta that way?"

Eventually the craziness calmed down. Well, all except for Sidney's own little world of mass chaos. She was still muttering under her breath. No one understood what she was saying, for it was a completely different language to them. Not even Harry, with his mind connected to Sidney's through that strange mind connection many twins (mostly identical, but some fraternal too) have, could make out what she was saying. Everybody was slowly edging away from her. Sidney was pretty terrifying when she was mad.

Ron decided to go ahead and read, whether Sidney was paying attention or not. Anything to block out the strange and creepy language she was talking in.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike.**

"The what, what, and what?" most of the pure-bloods asked. Draco Malfoy was not included. As if he needed to know what a filthy Muggle device was!

"If anyone has questions, feel free to come to me during breaks." Lily called out.

**Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise — unless of course it involved punching somebody.**

"And of course that's going to mean Harry." was the groan heard throughout the Gryffindor table.

**Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry, but he couldn't often catch him.**

"Thank Merlin!" the guests and decent people in the room sighed.

**Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast**.

"Seeker skills even then?" Hermione whispered to Harry. He winked at her.

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.**

"Uh, no, that's just the Potter genes." James said, just a little embarrassed.

"Yeah."Sirius grinned. "He was such a scrawny git when he was eleven."

"OI!" shouted James, looking scandalized.

"What?" Remus snickered. "It's true."

Professor Lupin nodded slightly, agreeing with his past self.

**He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was.**

"Only _four _times?" Sidney, who was now mostly back to normal, asked.

"Yeah, when I was ten he wasn't half as big as he is now." Harry chortled.

**Harry had a thin face, knobby knees, black hair,**

"James!" cheered Remus, Sirius, and Sidney.

"Me!" James cheered for himself.

**and bright green eyes.**

"Lily!" James and Sidney shouted.

**He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose.**

"I thought only nerds did that." Fred mused.

"Punch people on the nose?" Lee Jordan asked. "That doesn't sound very nerd-like."

"No, taping their glasses."

**The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.**

All of Harry's closest friends looked at him. Before they could say anything, Sidney cut them off.

"You didn't know what it really was, did you."

Harry shook his head. "Now that I know, I hate it all the more."

**He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

"**In the car crash when your parents died," she had said.**

Another silence took place. Nobody could think of any words to put into perspective of how wrong that was, to lie about how one's parents died.

This new revelation was really making Snape and Malfoy think hard about Potter. When they had started reading the book, they had thought it would show what a perfect life Potter had. Instead, it showed where he had to sleep and what lies he had believed. Maybe Potter wasn't so bad after all… No. There was no way these books were telling the truth. They _had _to be lying. All the same though, they still had doubts in the back of their heads…

"**And don't ask questions."**

"But how will you learn?" asked all the studious students.

**Don't ask questions — that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.**

"But quiet lives are boring ones!" Fred, George, and Sidney whined.

**Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon.**

"Bacon? I love bacon!

"We know, Sidney. We know."

"**Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.**

"How friendly." a Hufflepuff commented drily.

"Anyway, combing your hair won't work." Lily shook her head. "It won't lie flat, even now." She gestured to Baby Harry, who had fallen asleep. His hair stuck up in the back, just like the thirteen year old Harry's and James'.

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place.**

"I know it does." James grinned. "One time, Sirius shaved it all off, and then the next day it was all back, all over the place."

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother.**

**Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon.**

"I think we should all feel sorry for the kid." Susan Bones said.

**He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head.**

"Sounds like such a handsome man." George sniggered.

**Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.**

Sidney looked as though she was going to pass out from laughing so hard.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell.**

"**Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."**

"What a spoiled brat!" was the general outcry. Malfoy kept quiet. He got about the same number each year too.

"**Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."**

"**All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.**

"Very good idea, that. You don't want to lose your bacon. Bacon is amazing." Sidney said, sounding serious but there was a sparkle in her eye.

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?"**

"_Spoiled brat." _George coughed.

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty… thirty…"**

"Great Scott, he's stupid." muttered a sixth year Ravenclaw.

"**Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

"Really? I thought it was forty seven thousand."

"**Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

**Uncle Vernon chuckled.**

"**Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair.**

"Disgraceful parenting." Lily snarled.

**At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR.**

The pure-bloods completely failed to comprehend this. They looked to Lily for help.

"I will tell you during the break." she promised.

**He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"Yes! Anything that makes her day go wrong is awesome!" Fred grinned.

"**Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him."**

"Oh no!" said Lily and James.

"How do you know- oh, right." Sidney said with a knowing smile.

The professors were slightly shocked. She couldn't know, could she?

**She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

"Well, at least she acknowledged that he's there."

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap.**

"How can your heart give a leap?" asked that blonde haired Ravenclaw.

"Who is she?" Harry whispered to Hermione, Ron, and Sidney.

"That's Luna Lovegood." Ginny whispered, having overheard Harry's question. "She's a good friend, but a little strange."

**Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks,**

Sidney gave a slight shudder.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, sounding concerned.

"I hate roller coasters, unless they're water related. I don't do heights on regular ones."

"Do you have acrophobia?" Hermione wondered.

"No, I'm not afraid of heights, just falling off them."

**hamburger restaurants,**

"I like hamburgers." said Sirius conversationally.

"Me too!" Ron grinned, looking only slightly shocked that he agreed with a supposed mass murderer.

**or the movies.**

"Muppets!" Sidney yelled excitedly.

"No, not Muppets, _movie_." Hermione corrected.

"I know. There's a Muppet movie."

"There's a Muppet movie?" James exclaimed.

"Yes, and it's AMAZING! There are chickens singing Forget You!"

"There's a song call "Forget You?" Remus queried, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't know it. It's American and it doesn't come out for another couple of years."

"Then how do you know it exists?" sneered Draco.

"Because I am amazing and know a lot of things you don't."

**Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady**

"Harry! It's not very nice to call someone mad!"

"I know Hermione."

**who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage**

"Cooked cabbage or raw cabbage?"

"Raw, why do you ask?" said Harry, looking oddly at Sidney.

"Because I think cooked cabbage smells terrible while raw cabbage smells pretty good."

By now everybody was staring at the girl. They were slowly coming to the conclusion that she was more than just a little insane.

**and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.**

"That sounds immensely interesting." Fred commented, a rather amused glint in his eye.

"**Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this.**

"Uh huh, yeah. Harry totally planned this." said Hermione, rolling her eyes.

"You can tell by the way the plan is going so well." agreed Ron, a teasing smirk on his face.

Harry mock glared at them.

**Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg,**

"Yes you should!"

**but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.**

"Oh, well I suppose if that's the upside to it… You should still feel sorry."

"Good grief Hermione, what are you, my mom?"

"Uh, Harry? Lily's right over there." Sidney pointed to Lily.

"I know that. It was a sarcastic figure of speech." Harry sighed.

"I knew that. I just decided to take it literally."

"**We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

"NO!"

_Isn't she the woman you blew up this summer? _Sidney asked in Harry's head.

_Yep. _Harry replied, smirking.

"**Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy."**

"The feeling is mutual." Harry glowered.

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.**

"Personally, I think he looks more like twig bug. He's so skinny." Fred and George commented together, conjuring up a magnifying glass to 'examine' Harry.

"**What about what's-her-name, your friend — Yvonne?"**

"Petunia's still friends with her?" Lilly asked in amazement.

"**On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

"Yay! That means she can't bother us!"

"**You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon.**

Lee Jordan, Sidney, Fred, and George looked at each other, an evil idea beginning to form in their minds.

"**And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

"He won't blow up the house." said Remus, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know Moony, considering what Harry did with that dungbomb he just might." Sirius said cheerfully.

"**I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening.**

"Do they ever?"

"**I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "… and leave him in the car…"  
><strong>"That's only for animals!" Sidney cried in outrage.

"So it would be okay for you." James grinned slyly.

"That's distasteful, James. Anyway, I would turn the car into a rocket ship and kiss the planet good bye."

"Kiss the planet good bye?" Fred asked slowly, looking up from the sheet of paper he had been drawing on. "Having second thoughts about Pigfarts are you?"

"Surely by now, Fred, you know I would NEVER have second thoughts about Pigfarts."

"**That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone…"**

"You know, it's not a very good idea to leave dogs alone in the car." Sirius said, smirking at James.

"That was one time!" James cried.

"I completely agree with Sirius' way of thinking." Sidney grinned.

"You would." Remus muttered.

"Racist!" coughed Sidney.

"I think that may be the wrong definition of racist." Lily said.

"Then what would it be? Speciest?" That's not a word."

"Maybe the word is animalist." Sirius said thoughtfully.

"Perhaps so. The point is, this is a completely pointless converstion."

"How can it be pointless if it has a point and the point is is that it's pointless?"

"That's a good question. You should spend the next twelve years thinking about." Sidney winced. "On second thought, spend the next six months. Not twelve years."

"Why not twelve years?"

"I'm sure you'll understand come third book if nobody explains it to you soon."

**Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying — it had been years since he'd really cried — but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.**

"S-P-O-I-L-E-D spells Dudley!" chanted Fred, Lee, George, and Sidney.

"**Dinky Duddydums,**

Sidney was turning blue from lack of oxygen. Nothing anyone could say could get her to breathe until James suddenly yelled out "ATTACK AT HOGSMEADE SEVENTH YEAR!"

Sidney stopped laughing immediately and sat quietly, regaining the oxygen she had lost. Nobody but the time travelers understood why.

**don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.**

"Yes, just spoil the brat, Tuney." Snape muttered under his breath.

"**I… don't… want… him… t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp-spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.**

"I can shoot him a nastier grin!" Fred smiled evilly.

**Just then, the doorbell rang — "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically — and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother.**

"Is Piers the boy I made pee his pants summer of second year?"

"Yep." Harry grinned at Sidney.

**Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat.**

Sidney had an odd look on her face.

**He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

"We Marauders are man enough to cry in front of our friends." Sirius boasted.

"Don't we know it." smirked Sidney.

"Hey! You cried at the end of that movie too!" James frowned.

"I know, but I had a good reason to. Leonardo DiCaprio… it makes me sad to think of him dying."

"What I don't get about the end of that movie is how she's all like 'I'll never let go!' and then she pushes him off the door." Peter said, deciding to pay attention for a short amount of time.

"I know! It's all like 'I'll never let go! See ya, sucker!'" James said.

"I would NEVER push Leonardo off a door." Sidney said dreamily.

"Would you push any of your guy friends off a door into the ocean?" Remus asked.

"I might push Sirius off."

"OI!"

"Kidding!"

Professor Lupin was laughing silently to himself. Sidney still fit in with the group. It made him miss the days when Sirius wasn't a mass murderer and a servant of Voldemort.

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. **

"That's not true." James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus said, frowning. "We took you guys there just last weekend."

"I have pictures." Sirius added.

"I think Arthur and Molly do too."

"Arthur and Molly, as in Arthur and Molly WEASLEY?" Sidney asked slowly.

"Yeah, they came with their twins and their youngest son Ron."

"The twins are two years older than you guys and Ron is about your age." James added.

"Fred and George, the twins, were absolutely captivated by the tigers. Ron and Harry were obsessed with the deer." Lily said. "James was extremely proud."

"And you, Sidney, were fascinated with the wolves. We could never figure out why." Remus finished, a twinkle in his eye.

"I remember mum telling us about your trip to the zoo." Percy spoke up.

Harry, Sidney, Ron, Fred, and George were staring at each other. Sidney slowly turned her head to her parents and their friends. "Why did you feel the need to tell us how old we were? We already knew." She waved a hand in the general direction of the Weasleys who had been mentioned.

At about that moment the Great Hall doors swung open, brining Molly and Arthur Weasley in. "So, why are we here? We received a note from Dumbledore saying that we were needed here at Hogwarts, and to be sure to bring the photo album with the zoo pictures in it."

"_Really? From DUMBLEDORE? And why the photo album?"_

"_I thought that Molly and Arthur might not believe us if we said the note was from us. And also, it'd be nice to see those pictures. Harry and I have no memory of that, you know." Sidney defended herself._

"Well, I certainly did not send you a note. However, I have an idea of who did. But no matter. There are some friends that I'm sure you would like to see." Dumbledore smiled.

Molly and Arthur gave a wordless shout of happiness at the sight of the time travelers. After seeing them it took all of five minutes to explain what was going on and to make plans to look at the zoo pictures.

"Can we get on with reading now?" called Theodore Nott.

**His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

"Ew… that means he had to touch you!"

"**I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy — any funny business, anything at all — and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

"He was in the habit of making empty threats!" Harry and Sidney said at the same time.

Many looked as though they didn't believe them.

"**I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…"**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.**

"Let's count the number of times, shall we?" Sidney asked sarcastically. "There was the incident in first year, that time in second year, oh, and let's not forget the numerous times that Dursley hasn't believed you.

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.**

"Tuney knows about accidental magic though." Lily frowned.

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar." Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.**

**Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.**

"What the devil?" James cried. "Whoa sorry déjà vu. That's like what happened to me!"

"Can't beat the Potter hair!" Sirius grinned.

**He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.**

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls).**

"That sounds like an amazing sweater!" Sidney said, oblivious to the looks she was getting from the fashion conscious students.

**The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry.**

**Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.**

There was a collective sigh heard throughout the Hall.

**On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens. Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney.**

**The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. **

"Sounds to me like you flew." Lily said, smiling. "I flew when I was your age too."

**But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trashcans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid-jump.**

Sidney and the twins were shaking their heads. "We've got to teach you to lie better.

**But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.**

"Yeah, I'd rather be at the zoo too." Hermione and Ron nodded.

**While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects. **

"He definitely hates talking about Harry." Fred and George nodded.

**This morning, it was motorcycles.**

"Why complain about motorcycles?" Sirius asked. "They're awesome!"

"… **roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

"**I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."**

Sidney face palmed.

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"**

"YES THEY DO!" the pranksters in the room yelled.

**Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

"**I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."**

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon — they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.**

"I should let Stripes and Flick watch cartoons." Sidney mused.

"Wait." Sirius said. "We get to meet THE Stripes and Flick?"

"You already have." Sidney waved her hand dismissively. "It's the Weasley twins."

**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop.**

"Those are my favorite!" Lily grinned.

**It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.**

Sidney was on the floor laughing again.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him.**

"They better not!" Molly and Lily growled.

**They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first.**

"Was the ice cream chocolate?" Sidney asked.

Harry nodded.

"Lucky! I can't eat chocolate more than once a month, otherwise it would kill me."

"Why?" asked the Weasley kids, Harry, and Hermione.

"I swear that I'll tell you tonight."

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.**

**After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can — but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep.**

"Sleeping snakes are the best kind of snakes."

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.**

"**Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge.**

"**Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

"Good for the snake! It shouldn't let people wake it up."

"**This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away.**

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself — no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.**

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

**It winked.**

"Snakes don't have eyelids…" a Ravenclaw said slowly.

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.**

**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly:**

"**I get that all the time."**

"Wait! If this is the incident I think it is, I want to translate it!" Sidney interrupted Ron.

"Translate it?" Remus asked.

"You'll see."

"**I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying."**

**The snake nodded vigorously.**

"You're a Parsletounge?" the guests asked quietly.

"Yes, why do you ask?" Sidney asked them in Parsletounge.

"No reason. That's pretty cool."

"**Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

**Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**

"**Was it nice there?"**

**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see — so you've never been to Brazil?"**

"Quite the conversation."

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"**

"Crap."

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.**

"**Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs. Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor.**

"He's gonna get pranked this summer." Sidney promised.

**What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened — one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.**

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished.**

"COOL!"

**The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.**

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come… Thanksss, amigo."**

"Polite snake." Sidney nodded.

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

"**But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

"Into nonbeing, which is to say, everything." Lily and Hermione said at the exact same time.

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"**.

"Idiot."

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go — cupboard — stay — no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.**

Fred said a word that is extremely inappropriate.

"Fred!" Molly cried.

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.**

"I enjoy food." Ron commented.

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died. Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead.**

"Whoop de doo, we can remember the Killing Curse. Because everyone wants to remember that." Sidney muttered.

**This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. He couldn't remember his parents at all.**

**His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house.**

James and Lily frowned.

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened;**

**the Dursleys were his only family. Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too.**

**A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything.**

**A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**

"I'll disagree!" rang around the room.

Dumbledore stood up. "Much as I would like to read another chapter, it is well past bedtime. So off to your sleeping bags! Chop chop!"

**Okay, so that is not my best piece of work. I just hate that chapter. Leave a review! Tell me if there's more of someone you want to see!**


	4. Wolves and Time Travelers

_**Much as I wish it was, Harry Potter isn't mine.**_

_**All other author notes about ways to tell time travelers apart, etc apply here.**_

**Chapter Three**

**Wolves and Time Travelers**

As everybody was going over to their respective sleeping bags, Sidney passed Harry a note.

_Okay guys,_

_I promised I would tell you why I can't eat chocolate. But in order for me to tell you that, I have to tell you a bunch of other things about me too. So when you all can, sneak out of the Great Hall and meet me in the hallway that contains Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Yes Percy, I know that Sirius Black "the mass murderer" is out to get me and Harry, but seriously, have you not seen how cool the younger Sirius Black is? He's not the murderer type. Anyway, pass this note on to all other Weasley and Granger kids. MAKE SURE NO ADULTS SEE THIS NOTE! Au revoir, little biscuits!_

_Sidney _

Harry looked up from reading the note, and nodded to Sidney. He then went to hand the note to Hermione.

_**Hour or two later**_

Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys were all there. Sidney however, wasn't.

"Where do you think she is?" Harry asked Ron.

"I don't know, Harry. Maybe she fell asleep?" he replied.

"Wait a second. Guys, do you hear that?"

The students out of bed were silent. No breathing of theirs could be heard, and yet, there was heavy breathing coming from down the hall. It was coming closer. Soon, in the dim light that filtered through the windows, a dog like form appeared. It was large, much larger than any dog should be. Slowly, the dog stepped into the light. Except that it wasn't a dog. It was a wolf. The giant wolf was golden furred, with black arrows coursing down the middle of its forehead, and down to its paws. The wolf turned its head towards the group of slightly terrified students.

Then all of a sudden the wolf wasn't there. It had been replaced by a thirteen year old girl. It was Sidney.

"Bloody hell, Sidney! You're a giant wolf Animagus?" Ron breathed.

"Nope." Sidney shook her head. "I'm one of the rare breed of witches and wizards called an instinct shifter."

Percy and Hermione's eyes widened. "No way."

"Yep. I'm a human in many ways, but wolf like in others."

"How are you wolf-like when you're a human?" was the question that was out of many mouths.

"Well, my hearing and smelling is like one hundred times better than yours at any given time." Sidney smirked at the dumbfounded looks on the twins' faces. The others just merely looked on in shock.

"What else can you do?" Hermione asked.

"Well, I can turn into a giant ass wolf if I want to. But you already knew that. I can also talk to any sort of animal I want to. For instance, I've had many a conversation with Hedwig."

"That's so cool!"

"Yeah, I know it is. I can also run so fast that you can't see me."

"Is it weird to run that fast?" Ginny asked.

"Yep. So, is there anything else you want to know? I can't give you the entire list of strange things we instinct shifters do. That would take twenty four hours to do so, and then some!"

"Well," said Harry, "this isn't really a question to do with instinct shifters."

"Go ahead and ask it then. I don't care."

"How do you know the time travelers so well? They just appeared and you're just 'Hey! How's it going?' What is up with that?"

Sidney sucked in a breath. Obviously whatever she had expected the question to be, that was not it.

"Okay. So you probably remember rather vividly how I was in a coma for a week in second year?"

"Of course I do! My sister's in coma and won't wake up! I was freaking out!" Harry exclaimed.

"Well, er, during that coma I _might_ have gone back in time mentally to meet James and Lily and their friends."

Nobody said anything. They were too busy trying to comprehend this.

Finally Ron spoke up. "You went back in time to meet your parents, and you didn't bother to change the future or anything?"

Sidney flared up. "You can't try to change the future with something big like that unless you're DEAD! That would completely jack up time and everything might be completely different than it is now! Things happen for a reason."

Ron backed up, raising his hands in defeat. "Sorry, I didn't know."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped." Sidney sighed. "So, is there anything else you'd like me to share?"

"Yeah." Percy said. "Why do James, Black, Peter Pettigrew, and younger Professor Lupin call each other Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs? And why do they call you Arrows?"

As he was saying this, Fred and George were muttering under their breath "Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Ms. Arrows are proud to present The Marauder's Map."

Sidney cracked a wide grin. "That's their secret to tell, not mine."

The others protested, but she wouldn't tell them.

Finally Hermione cut in. "We need to get back before we're missed."

They all agreed, and headed off to the Great Hall to get some sleep.

"_I still can't believe that you're a Marauder, Sidney." Fred shook his head._

_Sidney grinned. "Is Ickle Freddikins jealous of Sidney's marauderness?" _

"_Shut up, Sidney."_

"_Shutting."_

_**So, what do you think? If you want, in later chapters, I can add more about instinct shifters and time traveling later. Actually, I know I will. Also, because I absolutley LOVE Fred and wish he lived, I'm going to write a story where he's alive. It'll be called If. Leave a review if you think that Harry Potter is awesome!**_


	5. Letters From No One

The next morning everyone was milling about, perfectly cheerful and speculating about what would happen to Harry next.

Molly and Arthur left, saying they had to feed the chickens.

Finally everyone was sitting down eating breakfast. James and Sirius were driving Lily crazy by talking with their mouths full, Remus was laughing at a joke Fred and George had just told, and Baby Harry and Sidney were adding to the already loud noise by yelling nonsense into the crowd.

After about an hour, things were settling down.

"Okay," said Ron, "Who wants to read next?"

"I will." Hermione volunteered.

"Wait." Lily interrupted. "We can't read yet! Sidney isn't here!"

"Uh, Lily? Sidney's right- oh wait, right! We're talking about Older Sidney."

"Sirius, I think that needs an epic face palm." Sidney's voice said from the back of the Great Hall.

"What? Sidney? I just looked back at the place you're standing in, and you weren't there! What- but- how?"

"It's called magic, James."

"Oh… right. I get it now." James winked.

As Sidney sat down and grabbed the bacon Harry had saved for her, Hermione mouthed to her, _Does James know about your power?_

Sidney nodded, and commenced nomming her bacon.

Then Hermione began to read.

"**Letters From No One,"**

"Hogwarts!" the cheer rang out.

**The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. **

**By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started**

A snarl ripped from Sidney's mouth.

The ones who knew about her, er, condition, scooted away from her.

**and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.**

"What a brat!"

**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader.**

"And people say wolves' ways of determining pack leadership are weird." Sidney commented, a smirk on her face.

**The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.**

Ginny was snarling, as was Hermione and Lily.

Fred and George looked towards Harry, and promised him "We'll give him our biggest prank ever."

"PRANK!"

The shout echoed across the Great Hall.

"Was that… Sidney?" Sirius asked, looking amazed.

"Fitting that that should be my first English word." Sidney said without looking up from her bacon.

"How do you know you haven't said your first word yet?"

"I have my ways."

**This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley. Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings.**

"Sounds like a lovely school." Ginny commented sarcastically.

**Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High,**

"Which sounds like yet another lovely school."

**the local public school. Dudley thought this was very funny.**

"Why did he think it was funny?" asked Ron slowly.

Harry only motioned for Hermione to keep reading.

"**They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"**

"If he does, I'll murder him."

"Easy, Sidney."

"**No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."**

Sidney was yet again dying from lack of oxygen.

Harry, Ron, Sirius, James, and Remus watched her.

"This is like the third time that's happened." James said.

"I wonder how many more times it's going to happen." Ron said.

"Knowing Sidney, probably at least three more times." Harry sighed.

**Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.**

"Why'd you run? The pig is probably still trying to figure it out."

**One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.**

"That's just an insult to chocolate." Sidney frowned.

That reminded Harry of something. He quickly wrote a note to Sidney.

_Sidney,_

_Last night you never told us why you couldn't eat chocolate._

_Harry_

Sidney took the note from him and wrote her answer back to him.

_Harry,_

_I'm wolf even when I'm human. Therefore, I can't eat chocolate more than once a month (and even then I can't have more than one bar) or else I would get very sick and possibly die._

_Sidney_

**That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats,**

Several girls groaned.

**orange knickerbockers,**

Even more girls groaned.

**and flat straw hats called boaters.**

Sidney laughed. "Boaters is a funny word. It's going on my list."

**They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.**

Many people face palmed.

**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life.**

"He has a very sad life then." Sirius said cheerfully.

"Pads, you already knew that." Remus said, rolling his eyes.

**Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins,**

This time Fred, George, and Lee Jordan joined Sidney in dying from oxygen deprivation.

**he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.**

"You should laugh."

**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.**

"Lovely." said Hannah Abbot, wrinkling her nose.

"**What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.**

"Yes, how dare he ask a question!" Michael Corner said dramatically.

"**Your new school uniform," she said.**

**Harry looked in the bowl again.**

"**Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."**

"Where is this humor now?" Fred asked George.

"I dunno, Fred. Maybe he lost it when he met his insane sister!"

"I take offense to that." Sidney looked as though George had killed her favorite pet. "I'm his crazy insane random bacon loving sister."

"**Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."**

"Yeah right."

**Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue.**

**He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High — like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.**

"You would look beautiful!"

"Shut up, Lee."

**Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.**

**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.**

"**Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.**

Sidney, James, and Sirius' jaws dropped. "He made Dudley get the paper?"

"Don't get your hopes up." said Lily grimly. "Knowing Dursley, he'll make Harry get it."

"**Make Harry get it."**

"**Get the mail, Harry."**

"**Make Dudley get it."**

"**Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."**

"He better not!"

**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and — **_**a letter for Harry**_**.**

"DUN DUN DUUUUUN!"

"Weasley, Weasley, and Jordan! BE QUIET!"

**Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him.**

**Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives — he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back.**

"Those are my favorite types of letters. It means you have books to read!"

Everybody looked at Sidney, who stared right back at them.

**Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:**

_**Mr. H. Potter**_

_**The Cupboard under the Stairs 4 Privet Drive**_

_**Little Whinging**_

_**Surrey**_

"Funny how accurate those are." Lily and James glared at the professors, most of which had the decency to look guilty.

**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink.**

"Obviously it should be written in purple ink."

"Jordan! I believe I have told you to be quiet!"

"Yes Professor Minnie."

**There was no stamp.**

"What's a stamp?" a pure-blood asked.

**Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion,**

"GRYFFINDOR!" yelled the Gryffindors.

"WOO!" cheered Fred, George, and Sidney.

**an eagle,**

"RAVENCLAW!" screamed the Ravenclaws.

"OW!" screeched Sidney, Fred, and George. James, Sirius, and Remus grinned. They had an idea of what was coming.

**a badger,**

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the Hufflepuffs.

"FIND!"

"WEASLEY, WEASLEY, AND POTTER! IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO YELL 'FIND' EVERY TIME YOU HEAR THE WORD HUFFLEPUFF!"

"FIND!"

"DETENTION!"

"Dang."

**and a snake **

The Slytherins were silent.

"None of you are going to scream your house?" Sidney asked after a moment. No one answered her.

"Fine. Then we'll do it." said Fred.

"SLYTHERIN!" yelled Fred

"SSSSS!" hissed George and Sidney.

**surrounding a large letter **_**H**_**.**

"HOGWARTS!" cheered most of the Great Hall.

"**Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.**

The jokesters in the room were silent.

**Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.**

Many people face palmed.

**Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.**

"**Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk…"**

"Hope she dies."

"SIDNEY!"

"Okay, okay, jeez Hermione."

"**Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!"**

Yet again, people face palmed.

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter,**

"So close yet so far…"

**which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.**

"**That's **_**mine**_**!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.**

"Oh no…"

"What is it, James?"

"I have a feeling Harry has his mother's temper… not that that's a bad thing." he added hastily upon seeing Lily's patented Glare of Death.

"**Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon,**

"Lots of people."

**shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.**

"I'd like to see that sometime. In the meantime, I'll never eat porridge again." Sirius said.

Professor Lupin was chuckling to himself. Sirius was really funny. On the downside, it only hurt him more to see the friend he was had.

"**P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.**

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.**

"**Vernon! Oh my goodness — Vernon!"**

"Oh my glob you guys! Drama bomb! **(A/N bonus points if you get that reference.)**"

**They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.**

"If my children ever do that, they will be punished." Lily said.

Harry and Sidney looked at each other, and gave a rather comical gulp.

"**I want to read that letter," he said loudly.**

"_**I **_**want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's **_**mine**_**."**

"Young Harry's temper is starting to show through."

"**Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.**

**Harry didn't move.**

"**I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

"And it breaks through the clouds!"

"JORDAN! BE QUIET!"

"**Let **_**me **_**see it!" demanded Dudley.**

"**OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole;**

**Dudley won,**

"Of course." Sidney sighed.

**so Harry,** **his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.**

"That's a better place anyway."

"**Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address — how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"**

"**Watching — spying — might be following us,"**

"Yuck. Who would want to follow them?"

**muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.**

"**But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want —"**

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.**

"**No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer… Yes, that's best… we won't do anything…"**

"**But —"**

"**I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"**

"What exactly do you mean by 'stamp out'?" Lily and James growled.

**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.**

"**Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"**

"**No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly.**

"**I have burned it."**

"**It was **_**not **_**a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."**

"Sidney, stop growling! It's scary!"

"**SILENCE!" **

"I KEEL YOU! Sorry, not helping any." Sidney said with a sheepish look.

"Where did that come from?" James asked curiously.

"Jefuh-fuh DunHAM, the amazing ventriloquist."

**yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling.**

Ron and Sidney shuddered.

**He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful.**

"Bet it was."

"**Er — yes, Harry — about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking… you're really getting a bit big for it… we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom.**

"Second bedroom?" said Lily slowly, looking murderous.

"Yep."

"SECOND BEDROOM?" she exploded, and Lily turned and stomped out of the room to vent her anger on some poor wall, leaving a sleeping Baby Harry and Sidney with James and Sirius.

"**Why?" said Harry.**

"**Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now."**

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms:**

"Thank Merlin Lily isn't here to hear this." Sidney said under her breath.**  
>one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge),<br>**"Who is a bi-"

"Potter…"

"Biscuit lover?"

**one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom. It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched.**

Hermione, Sidney, and the Ravenclaws looked scandalized.

**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, "I don't **_**want **_**him in there… I **_**need **_**that room… make him get out…"**

"Can I murder him?"

**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it.**

**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.**

"HA HAAAAAA!"

**Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall.**

"Don't we all wish that."

**Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.**

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it.**

**They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive —'"**

"If he wanted to read it, why did he announce it?"

"Seamus, mate, this is Dudley we're talking about."

**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind. **

"So you'd already had practice fighting a troll!" Sidney whispered to Harry, making sure Ron and Hermione heard it.

The four burst out laughing, which made them get some weird looks from others.

**After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.**

"Damn."

"Jordan! Language!"

"Sorry Professor."

"**Go to your cupboard — I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley — go — just go."**

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again? And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.**

Ron, Sidney, and Hermione face palmed. Harry looked at them, slightly hurt, but didn't comment.

**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights.**

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first. His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door —**

"**AAAAARRRGH!"**

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat — something **_**alive**_**!**

"I hope he stepped on Dursley's face!"

**Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face.**

"YES!" cheered three fourths of the Hall.

**Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.**

"**I want —" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes.**

**Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day.**

**He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.**

"**See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't **_**deliver **_**them they'll just give up."**

"**I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."**

"It won't."

"**Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," **

"Thank Merlin for that." Malfoy murmured.

**said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.**

"Epic fail."

**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.**

**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning **

"BURN BABY BURN! HOT POCKETS!" sang Sidney.

James grinned. "Glad to know you remember that."

"Because I could forget that. Isn't that the song you sang when you first saw Li-"

"SHHHHH!"

"Lily?"

James whacked his head on the table.

**all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.**

"Paranoid much?"

**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two-dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window. While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.**

"**Who on earth wants to talk to **_**you **_**this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.**

"Ginny wrote to you- how many times was it, Fred?"

"Like one hundred?"

Ginny blushed.

**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.**

"**No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today —"**

"Not going to happen!" sang Lee.

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one —**

_Ah, and the famous Seeker skills are born._ Sidney said to Harry mentally, grinning.

"**Out! OUT!"**

**Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.**

**When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor.**

"**That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. "I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!"**

"But arguments are so much fun!" Fred and George whined.

**He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue. Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.**

"The brat finally got what he deserved."

**They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while.**

"**Shake 'em off… shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.**

**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. **

Sirius and Ron looked ill at the thought.

**By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer.**

"Welcome to my life." Harry snarled.

**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering…**

"About Gnu Gnomes and demon pigs living together?"

"Where do you get your ideas, Sidney?"

"From Google. Duh."

**They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.**

"'**Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk."**

**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:**

_**Mr. H. Potter**_

_**Room 17**_

_**Railview Hotel**_

_**Cokeworth**_

"YES! NICE LADY! GIVE THE LETTERS TO HARRY!"

**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared.**

"NO! DO SOMETHING!"

"**I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.**

Sidney snarled even louder than she had been originally.

"**Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her.**

**Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.**

"**Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon.**

"You know you've gone mad when the Idiot knows you have!"

**Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.**

**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled.**

"**It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a **_**television**_**."**

"No. In the world of the Gnu Gnomes it's illegal to watch the Great Humberto when Harry doesn't have his Hogwarts letter and Dursley's gone mad. Do you WANT the Gnu Gnome to kill you? Is that what you want? Are you suicidal, man?"

"Sidney?"

"Yes?"

"How high are you right now?"

"I'm not high, Hermione. I'm stating something that everybody should know."

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it **_**was **_**Monday — and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television — then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday.**

"Happy Hogwarts birthday! Fun wizard-"

"No, Fred. We are not singing that song."

**Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun — last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks.**

"Psh! That's an awesome present! You can take the coat hanger apart, and make an excellent trip wire! And the socks, well, let's just say they make excellent coffee flavoring!"

"Sidney?

"What is it now, Hermione?"

"Are you completely sure you're not high?"

"Yep."

**Still, you weren't eleven every day.**

"Nope! Only for a year, and then you're twelve!"

**Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling.**

**He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.**

"It's a rifle." said Sidney without any hesitation.

"**Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"**

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there.**

"**Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. "And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!"**

Sidney banged her head on the table. "Great."

**A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them.**

"I'd rather swim, thanks."

"**I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"**

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house.**

**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms.**

**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas.**

Sidney, Sirius, and Ron's jaws dropped. "That's barely a snack!"

**He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up.**

"**Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.**

**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail.**

"You're so pessimistic." Ron shook his head.

**Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all.**

"You're so pessimistic." Ron shook his head.

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.**

Many snarls were heard throughout the Hall.

**The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.**

**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did.**

**Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.**

"That's actually a pretty good possibility."

**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea?**

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds… twenty… ten… nine — maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him**

"DO IT!" screamed Sidney and the twins.

— **three… two… one…**

**BOOM.**

"Hermione! You've got to shout it, like this: **BOOM!**"

**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.**

"Maybe it's a creeper, who wants to steal Harry and eat him!"

"Fred…"

"Yes?"

"Do be quiet."

"Yes Hermione."

"Okay," said Hermione, looking around. "Who wants to read now?"

Sirius raised his. He then took the book from Hermione.

**So, what you think? I was in a rather weird mood while typing, and so this is the result. Leave a review if you're awesome! **

**P.S. I've decided to make Fred and Sidney a couple. But you'll have to wait until third book. ;) P.P.S. I don't own HP!**


	6. The Keeper of the Keys

**WARNING! DRAPPLE IS CONTAINED WITHIN THIS CHAPTER! I freaking ship Drapple. 3**

"**The Keeper of the Keys,"** Sirius read.

**BOOM.**

"SIRIUS!"

"What?"

"There is no need to yell."

"Sorry Sidney."

**They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake.**

"**Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.**

"From now on, when somebody wakes me up suddenly, I'm going to yell 'Where's the cannon?'" Sidney said, grinning.

**There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle**

The Muggle-borns were sitting in a shocked silence.

Then-

"What the hell is this guy playing at?"

"Sidney! Language!"

"Sorry Lily."

**in his hands .Now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.**

"**Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you — I'm armed!"**

**There was a pause. Then —**

**SMASH!**

"SIRIUS! I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MY HEARING EARLY! IF YOU WERE TO SAY IT UNDER YOUR BREATH, THAT'D BE PERFECTLY OKAY WITH ME!"

"Jeez Sidney, calm down."

"I can't help it if people yell right into my very sensitive ears."

"You're like five feet away from me."

"To my ears that's being right next to you."

"You have weird ears then."

"Thanks, James."

"Any time."

**The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.**

"I should try doing that sometime." Sidney said thoughtfully.

"You? The shrimpy little Gryffindor? Break down a door? I'd like to see that." Draco sneered.

"Shut up and go kiss your stupid little Apple, Drawco."

"First of all, my name is DRACO, not DRAWCO. And second, how in the name of Merlin did you come up with me being in love with an apple?"

"Don't deny it, Count Chocula. We all know you have at some sort of loving going on with Apple."

"Draco. My name is Draco. And I'm not in love with an apple!" Draco practically screamed.

James leaned over towards the Slytherin table. "The next time she insists that you're in love with an apple, make a big dramatic confession and she'll leave you alone."

"I'm serious,-

"No, I'm Sirius!"

"Shut your face, Sirius. Anyway, Milfoy, I KNOW that you're in love with Apple. And I know it's true because I read it in a fan fiction."

Malfoy, tired of Sidney's accusing him that he was in love with an apple, decided to take James' advice.

"YES! I ADMIT IT! I'M IN LOVE WITH APPLE! APPLE! MY SWEET! I SHALL COME FOR YOU DURING THE BREAK!"

"I knew he was in love with Apple." Sidney said smugly.

Sirius decided to keep reading.

**A giant of a man**

"It's Hagrid. I know it." Remus said immediately.

**was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair.**

"HAGRID!" the Gryffindor table cheered. Hagrid grinned at them.

**The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all.**

"**Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh?**

"Oh, Hagrid." the Marauders sighed.

**It's not been an easy journey…"**

**He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.**

"**Budge up, yeh great lump,"**

"The perfect words for Dudley." Harry, Sidney, Ron, and Hermione nodded.

**said the stranger.**

**Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.**

"Wimps."

"**An' here's Harry!" said the giant.**

**Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.**

"**Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mom's eyes."**

"First time, right?" Sidney asked.

Harry nodded. "We're going on two hundred thirty now."

**Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise.**

"**I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"**

"That's what I'm going to say when somebody breaks into my house."

"Sidney…" said Dean Thomas slowly. "You don't have a house."

"That's what you think."

"**Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune,"**

"Yet another great insult from our Hagrid."

**said the giant;**

**he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.**

Fred, George (they had been told by Sidney what a gun was) and Sidney gave Hagrid a standing ovation.

**Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.**

"You mean like this?" Sidney asked, a she made a sound like a mouse getting trodden upon.

"Exactly like that." Harry grinned.

"**Anyway — Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here — I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."**

**From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with **_**Happy Birthday Harry **_**written on it in green icing.**

Ron and Sirius drooled.

**Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"**

"Manners Harry."

"Yes Hermione."

**The giant chuckled.**

"**True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts."**

**He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm.**

"I bet I could shake Hagrid's hand like he shakes ours."

Malfoy thought about sneering at that, but decided he'd rather not risk another apple scene.

"**What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind."**

"Hagrid! We don't drink in front of children!" McGonagall whispered, rebuking him.

**His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there.**

"Playing with fire is fun." Sidney commented randomly.

**It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath.**

**The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat:**

**a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea.**

"I love your pockets." was the comment that went around most of the room.

**Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley."**

"Because Dudley totally needs that food." Susan Bones rolled her eyes.

**The giant chuckled darkly.**

"**Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, **

"Hagrid agrees with you, Susan." Ernie chuckled.

**Dursley, don' worry." He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful, but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are."**

"Those are better manners."

"I know, Hermione. This happened two years ago."

**The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.**

"**Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts — yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course.**

"Nope." many people around the room scowled.

"**Er — no," said Harry.**

**Hagrid looked shocked.**

"**Sorry," Harry said quickly.**

"Why do you apologize for everything?" Remus turned to Harry, looking curious.

"Er- reflex reaction, I guess." Harry answered, then turned to Sidney. "This is weird. I feel like I'm talking to my professor.

"But you are. You're just talking to a younger version of him."

"_**Sorry**_**?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learned it all?"**

"Learned what?" said Sidney, feigning ignorance.

"**All what?" asked Harry.**

"**ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered.**

"**Now wait jus' one second!"**

Fred rubbed his hands together happily. "Dursley's gonna get what's coming to him."

**He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall.**

"Stupid non- Gryffindors." George muttered.

"**Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy — this boy! — knows nothin' abou' — about ANYTHING?"**

"He can do math and stuff, I'm sure." Lily said, frowning.

**Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad.**

"**I know **_**some **_**things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."**

"Harry thinks like Lily!" James smiled.

"Well duh. I think like you, Prongs, so it only makes sense Harry thinks like Lily."

"Oh, so you think you think like me, huh?" it was a moment before James realized Sidney had said this with him.

"Oh, so now you're being cute. Well, I've got news for you. Not all of us inheirited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died." James said, with Sidney copying him.

"Gnu gnomes. Pigfarts. Lupin can't sing. Hermione can't draw. Okay, I give up, you DO think like me." James sighed, Sidney still copying him.

She continued to copy him until Lily said "That's enough."

**But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About **_**our **_**world, I mean. **_**Your **_**world. **_**My **_**world. **_**Yer parents' world**_**."**

"Way to confuse him more." Malfoy sneered under his breath.

"Shut up, Fatloy, or I'll start insisting you're in love with Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way next."

Malfoy gaped at Sidney. "You mean the Apple thing was all an act?"

"Of course it was. I can't resist making you look like a fool in front of the entire school."

"**What world?"**

**Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode.**

"**DURSLEY!" he boomed.**

**Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble."**

Sidney looked at her notebook of words. "Funnily enough, that's already in here."

"Really?" asked James curiously. "Do you know why?"

"Not off the top of my head, but I know a way to find out. _Kandife!_" Sidney said, and a younger version of Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew popped out of the journal, as well as an older version of Sidney.

"SIRIUS BLACK! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KILL HIM!" the older version of Sidney roared.

"He's a greasy git. And you called Lily a you-know-what last year." Sirius said, but it was obvious he was scared.

"I DON'T CARE IF HE'S A GREASY GIT! I DON'T CARE THAT HE CALLED LILY A MUDBLOOD! WHAT I CARE, IS THAT YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM! AND REMUS! YOU DIDN'T EVEN STOP TO THINK ABOUT REMUS! YOU THINK HE WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED THE BLOOD? THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED THE MANGLED BODY? IS THAT WHAT YOU THOUGHT? AND HOW ABOUT JAMES? AND ME? JAMES AT LEAST RISKED HIS LIVE TO SAVE HIM! YOU DIDN'T STOP TO THNK, AND IT COULD HAVE COST BOTH OF THEM THEIR LIVES! AND REMUS WOULD BE KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL! YOU DIDN'T STOP TO THINK, SIRIUS, AND IF YOU ATTEMPT SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE WORSE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE! THIS ISN'T HOW THE PACK WORKS! THE PACK WORKS TOGETHER, AND IF YOU ENDANGER ONE OF THE PACK, YOU ENDANGER ALL OF US! THAT'S JUST HOW IT WORKS! NOW YOU'RE GOING TO APOLOGIZE- RIGHT NOW!"

"But I don't want to!" Sirius whined. "The guy's a git, we would have been better off without him!"

"I DON'T CARE IF SEVERUS SNAPE IS VOLDEMORT! GO APOLOGIZE!"

"But-"

"NOW!"

Sirius mumbled "Mimblewimble" and left.

"Merlin, Sidney, get upset much?" James asked weakly.

"He disobeyed pack rules. He brought out my alpha side. I don't think he'll attempt to murder anyone soon."

And with that, the picture faded. Sidney was glaring at nothing in particular.

The rest of the school, especially Snape, was in shock.

The school was in shock because they didn't understand what had happened. All they knew was that somehow Sidney had managed to go back in time. Also, there was the fact that Sidney could be really scary when she was mad.

Snape, however, was astounded that the Potter girl had made Black apologize. Maybe she wasn't too bad.

Sirius, who had sunk low in his seat, pushed himself back up and started to read again.

**Hagrid stared wildly at Harry. "But yeh must know about yer mom and dad," he said. "I mean, they're **_**famous**_**. You're **_**famous**_**."**

"Whoop de freaking doo." Harry muttered. He was the first to recover from shock. He had been on the receiving end of Sidney's temper once. It was not something he planned to go through again.

"**What? My — my mom and dad weren't famous, were they?"**

"Uh, yeah, we were." James said, rolling his eyes. He too had also been on the end of Sidney's temper, and it was not fun.

"**Yeh don' know… yeh don' know…" Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare.**

"**Yeh don' know what yeh **_**are**_**?" he said finally.**

"Obviously he's an elf." Fred grinned. He had never seen Sidney's temper, and he never wanted to.

**Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.  
><strong>"Darn." Several people said. They were beginning to get over their shock.

"**Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"**

**A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.**

"**You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?"**

"**Kept **_**what **_**from me?" said Harry eagerly.**

"The fact that you're an elf, of course." Fred and George said together.

"**STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic.**

**Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.**

"Oh my glob you guys! DRAMA BOMB!" Sidney yelled. She had finally stopped glaring.

"**Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh," **

"Yes, go do that." Fred said.

**said Hagrid. "Harry — yer a wizard."**

"DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

"POTTER! BE QUIET!"

**There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.**

"**I'm a **_**what**_**?" gasped Harry.**

Sidney laughed. "Great reaction."

"**A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good 'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."**

**Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to **_**Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. **_**He pulled out the letter and read:**

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY**_

_**Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE**_

_**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)**_

_**Dear Mr. Potter,**_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.**_

_**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.**_

_**Yours sincerely,**_

_**Minerva McGonagall,**_

_**Deputy Headmistress**_

"Funny, that's the same as mine, except it said Ms. Potter."

"Gee, I wonder why." Harry said sarcastically.

**Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"**

Many people face palmed.

"**Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl — a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl**

"Cool." said Colin Creevey.

— **a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:**

_**Dear Professor Dumbledore,**_

_**Given Harry his letter.**_

_**Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.**_

_**Weather's horrible. Hope you're well.**_

_**Hagrid**_

"Straight to the point." Cedric Diggory commented.

**Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone.**

"For wizards it is normal." Hannah Abbot said.

**Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.**

"**Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.**

"**He's not going," he said.**

**Hagrid grunted.**

"**I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.**

"**A what?" said Harry, interested.**

"Anything you can use to insult the Dursleys is a good thing to know."

"**A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."**

"True that."

"**We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"**

"**You **_**knew**_**?" said Harry. "You **_**knew **_**I'm a — a wizard?"**

"They sure did." Hermione scowled.

"**Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "**_**Knew**_**! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was?**

**Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that **_**school **_**— and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats.**

**But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"**

**She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years.**

"She had." Sidney confirmed grimly. "She's always been jealous of Lily."

Lily, at that point, was in no state to communicate. Sidney had never told her that she had helped save Severus. She had always said it was James, just James. Lily wondered why. But she didn't want to ask.

"**Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as — as —**_**abnormal **_— **and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"**

Ginny looked pale. "That's how you found out?" she whispered softly.

**Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"**

"**CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"**

"That's not exactly true." Cho Chang said thoughtfully. "The Muggle-borns wouldn't know about him."

"**But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.**

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious.**

"**I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh — but someone's gotta — yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'."**

"It would have been interesting to see though." Ron grinned.

"Yeah. I would have come up to him and said 'Bloody hell! It's Harry Potter!'" Seamus said.

"And then everybody would have screamed, and then we would have started singing 'You're Harry freakin' Potter! You don't understand, you're a legend man to us all!'" Sidney laughed. The Marauders and Weasley twins joined in her hysterical laughing, as they got the reference.

**He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.**

"**Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh — mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it…"**

"It sure is."

**He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with — with a person called — but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows —"**

"**Who?"**

"**Well — I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."**

"**Why not?"**

"**Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went… bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was…"**

**Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.**

Many people grinned. "You'll never get him to say it." a seventh year Ravenclaw said.

"**Could you write it down?" Harry suggested.**

"**Nah — can't spell it. All right —**_**Voldemort**_**. "**

The room was silent. "You got him to say it." many people breathed, in awe.

**Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches… terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him — an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.**

"I doubt he ever will try to take it." a Hufflepuff whispered. Although they didn't think anything of it, many people heard a snort from the ceiling. But of course there was nothing on the ceiling.

"**Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before… probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side.**

James nodded his approval of what Hagrid said.

"**Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em… maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' — an' —"**

**Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.**

"**Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad — knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find — anywa…**

"**You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then — an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing — he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh — took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even — but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry.**

"What a great thing to be famous for." Harry said sarcastically.

People around the room started. Potter didn't like his fame?

**No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age — the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts**

The time travelers looked shocked. The Weasleys, and Susan Bones looked down sadly in remembrance of their family members.

— **an' you was only a baby, an' you lived."**

**Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before — and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh.**

"You remembered that?" Remus said softly.

Harry nodded, not wanting to think about it.

**Hagrid was watching him sadly.**

"**Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot…."**

"**Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. **

"I did too." Hermione confessed.

**Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.**

"**Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you,probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured**

"He better not have." Lily snarled. She was now out of her shocked state.

**and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdoes, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion**

"Bas-"

"JAMES!"

"Meanie."

"That's better."

— **asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types — just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end -"**

**But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat.**

The Golden Trio and Sidney shared a grin, they knew what the umbrella really was.

**Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley — I'm warning you — one more word…"**

**In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again;**

"Mine probably would have too." Sidney admitted.

**he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.**

"**That's better,"**

"Sidney agrees."

"Referring to yourself in third person again, Sidney?"

"Yep, she sure is!"

**said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.**

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.**

"When don't you?" McGonagall sighed quietly to herself. Potter, Potter, Weasley, and Granger would be the death of her.

"**But what happened to Vol-, sorry — I mean, You-Know-Who?"**

"**Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see… he was gettin' more an' more powerful — why'd he go?**

"Because he was stopped by- well, you'll find out later." Sidney said.

"**Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die.**

"He didn't." Sidney whispered to Harry.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Harry whispered back.

**Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if he was comin' back.**

"**Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on — **_**I **_**dunno what it was, no one does **— **but somethin' about you stumped him, all right."**

"Just what stumped him is what we'd all like to know." Sirius sighed.

**Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake.**

"What?" most of the Great Hall murmured.

**A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads**

"That's a good idea." Sidney mused to herself.

**every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?**

"Because that's just the way under age magic works." Lily explained.

"**Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard."**

**To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled.**

"**Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?"**

**Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it… every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry… chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach… dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back… and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?**

"Technically, you just set him free." Sidney told Harry.

**And now we go to the ceiling! **

"You know," a brown haired girl whispered to a red haired boy on the ceiling, "that boa constrictor became Nagini."

"Really?" the boy whispered, looking surprised.

"Yep. I heard Nagini talking to Voldy about it."

"Great way to pay Harry back now, isn't it."

"Quite."

"Hey, how long do these disillusionment charms last?" the boy asked.

"Until the chapter in prisoner of Azkaban called Flight of the Fat Lady." the girl answered. "Now be quiet. We don't want to risk anybody hearing us."

**Back on the floor of the Great Hall**

"Did you hear something?" Sidney asked the people surrounding her, flipping her brown hair out of her eyes.

"No." the people said.

Sidney still looked suspicious, but let it go.

**Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him.**

"**See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard — you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts."**

"How I wish I wasn't." Harry muttered.

**But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.**

"**Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish — spell books and wands and —"**

"**If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born.**

"It has." James and Lily confirmed.

**He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled—"**

"**I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.**

Fred, George, Sidney, and the Marauders looked extremely excited. Dursley was going to get it now.

**But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER —" he thundered, "— INSULT — ALBUS — DUMBLEDORE — IN — FRONT — OF — ME!" He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley — there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.**

Everyone was roaring with laughter, even the Slytherins and professors (except for Snape, but that's to be expected, because he was still in shock, and anyway, I'm pretty sure it's impossible for Snape to smile.).

**Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.**

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.**

"**Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."**

Everybody continued laughing.

**He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows.**

"**Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm — er — not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff — one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job."**

"**Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.**

"Harry!"

"I know, I know, it was a personal question and I shouldn't have asked." Harry rolled his eyes at Hermione. "But I still found out anyway." he added in an undertone.

"**Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."**

"**Why were you expelled?"**

"HARRY!"

"My statement before applies now too!"

"**It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."**

"Great subject changer." James grinned.

**He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry.**

"**You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' doormice in one o' the pockets."**

"Sweet." Sidney grinned.

"So who wants to read next?" Sirius asked.

"Before you decide that, there's something I need to check." Sidney said, and she stood up and jumped onto the ceiling, while yelling 'SPIDER POWERS GO!'

She began crawling around on the ceiling, while answering the questions that were shot at her. "I took a potion that was brewed incorrectly to get these powers. Blame Remus as the reason I took the potion. Yes, I can do this at any time. I heard voices on the ceiling and I figured I might as well look around."

Eventually she jumped off the ceiling. "Well, there's nobody there as far as I can tell, but I'm still not convinced. You hear that, ceiling voices?" she yelled at the ceiling. "I'm going to find you sooner or later!"

"Okay, on that very weird note, here James, you can read." Sirius said, shoving the book towards James.

**So about that last part with the spider thing, when Sidney time traveled to the Marauder's time Remus played a joke on Sidney that ended up with her extremely afraid of spiders. In order to get over her fear of spiders, Sidney took a potion that was supposed to help her get over her fear of spiders, but the potion was brewed incorrectly, resulting in Sidney getting her spider like powers that she gets to keep for the rest of her life.**

**Leave a review please! You'll get a cookie if you can tell me the exact identities of the ceiling voices. **


	7. Diagon Alley

**In answer to a question I got in a review: Mira SeverusSirius Black-Snape- Sidney died because she committed suicide in order to stop our favorite villain from winning. She and Fred (who is our other ever so lovely ceiling dweller) will be coming in to read the books in the third book, Flight of the Fat Lady. However, if I get enough reviews asking me to bring them in sooner, I'll have the younger Sidney figure out where they're hiding and they'll join the reading from then on.**

**Anything written like this **_**(Bold)**_** is the ceiling dwellers from last chapter.**

"**Diagon Alley" **James read.

**Harry woke early the next morning. Although he could tell it was daylight, he kept his eyes shut tight.**

_**It was a dream, **_**he told himself firmly. **_**I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I'll be at home in my cupboard.**_

"Pessimist. " many were heard to mutter.

**There was suddenly a loud tapping noise.**

_**And there's Aunt Petunia knocking on the door**_**, Harry thought, his heart sinking.**.

"Like I said, you're a pessimist." Sidney said, punching Harry's shoulder.

**But he still didn't open his eyes. It had been such a good dream.**

**Tap. Tap. Tap.**

"**All right," Harry mumbled, "I'm getting up."**

**He sat up and Hagrid's heavy coat fell off him. The hut was full of sunlight, the storm was over, Hagrid himself was asleep on the collapsed sofa, and there was an owl rapping its claw on the window, a newspaper held in its beak.**

**Harry scrambled to his feet, so happy he felt as though a large balloon was swelling inside him. He went straight to the window and jerked it open.**

**The owl swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn't wake up. The owl then fluttered onto the floor and began to attack Hagrid's coat.**

"**Don't do that."**

"Don't try to stop it, it'll attack you." Lily warned, wincing at a memory of her getting attacked by an owl.

**Harry tried to wave the owl out of the way, but it snapped its beak fiercely**

"Like I said."

**at him and carried on savaging the coat.**

"**Hagrid!" said Harry loudly. "There's an owl —"**

"No, really?" Fred, George, and Lee gasped.

"**Pay him," Hagrid grunted into the sofa.**

"**What?"**

"You don't know about wizard money!" Percy realized.

"**He wants payin' fer deliverin' the paper. Look in the pockets."**

**Hagrid's coat seemed to be made of nothing **_**but **_**pockets — bunches of keys,**

"I love keys! They're so key like!" Sidney sighed dreamily.

**slug pellets, balls of string, peppermint humbugs,**

"Ugh. Those are gross," Alicia Spinnet grimaced. "Who would want them?"

The Marauders, Weasley twins, Sidney, and Lee raised their hands.

**teabags… finally, Harry pulled out a handful of strange-looking coins.**

"**Give him five Knuts," said Hagrid sleepily.**

"Harry won't know which ones they are!"

"**Knuts?"**

"**The little bronze ones."**

**Harry counted out five little bronze coins, and the owl held out his leg so Harry could put the money into a small leather pouch tied to it. Then he flew off through the open window.**

**Hagrid yawned loudly, sat up, and stretched.**

"Wait, why didn't he pay if he was getting up?" Ron asked.

"He wanted Harry to get used to handling wizard money." Ginny rolled her eyes.

"**Best be off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta get up ter London an' buy all yer stuff fer school."**

**Harry was turning over the wizard coins and looking at them. He had just thought of something that made him feel as though the happy balloon inside him had got a puncture.**

"**Um — Hagrid?"**

"**Mm?" said Hagrid, who was pulling on his huge boots.**

"**I haven't got any money — and you heard Uncle Vernon last night… he won't pay for me to go and learn magic."**

"We would have left you money!" James and Lily exclaimed.

"**Don't worry about that," said Hagrid, standing up and scratching his head. "D'yeh think yer parents didn't leave yeh anything?"**

"**But if their house was destroyed —"**

"**They didn' keep their gold in the house, boy! Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank. Have a sausage, they're not bad cold — an' I wouldn' say no teh a bit o' yer birthday cake, neither."**

"**Wizards have **_**banks**_**?"**

"_Wizards have banks?_" Malfoy mocked him.

"I was eleven." Harry muttered. "Give me a break."

"**Just the one. Gringotts. Run by goblins."**

**Harry dropped the bit of sausage he was holding.**

"_**Goblins**_**?"**

"Yes Harry, big nasty goblins that will eat you up." Fred teased.

"**Yeah — so yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it, I'll tell yeh that. Never mess with goblins, Harry.**

"Bill tells us that every time he comes home." Ginny grinned.

**Gringotts is the safest place in the world fer anything yeh want ter keep safe — 'cept maybe Hogwarts. As a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumbledore. Hogwarts business." Hagrid drew himself up proudly. "He usually gets me ter do important stuff fer him. Fetchin' you — gettin' things from Gringotts — knows he can trust me, see."**

"Like I said before, I would trust Hagrid with my life." Sidney said solemnly.

"**Got everythin'? Come on, then." Harry followed Hagrid out onto the rock. The sky was quite clear now and the sea gleamed in the sunlight. The boat Uncle Vernon had hired was still there, with a lot of water in the bottom after the storm.**

"**How did you get here?" Harry asked, looking around for another boat.**

"**Flew," said Hagrid.**

"_Flew_?" people asked, trying to imagine Hagrid flying.

"_**Flew**_**?"**

"**Yeah — but we'll go back in this. Not s'pposed ter use magic now I've got yeh."**

**They settled down in the boat, Harry still staring at Hagrid, trying to imagine him flying.**

"I still can't," Harry admitted.

"**Seems a shame ter row, though," said Hagrid, giving Harry another of his sideways looks. "If I was ter — er — speed things up a bit, would yeh mind not mentionin' it at Hogwarts?"**

"HAGRID!" McGonagall groaned.

"**Of course not," said Harry, eager to see more magic. Hagrid pulled out the pink umbrella again, tapped it twice on the side of the boat, and they sped off toward land.**

"**Why would you be mad to try and rob Gringotts?" Harry asked.**

"**Spells — enchantments," said Hagrid, unfolding his newspaper as he spoke. "They say there's dragons guardin' the high security vaults.**

"Anyone know if that's true?" Oliver Wood asked.

_**("It is most definitely true." The girl on the ceiling muttered. The boy grinned.)**_

**And then yeh gotta find yer way — Gringotts is hundreds of miles under London, see. Deep under the Underground. Yeh'd die of hunger tryin' ter get out, even if yeh did manage ter get yer hands on summat."**

_**("Really?" the girl said, acting as if this was new information to her. The boy elbowed her. "Sh, we don't want to be found out.")**_

**Harry sat and thought about this while Hagrid read his newspaper, the **_**Daily Prophet**_**. Harry had learned from Uncle Vernon that people liked to be left alone while they did this, but it was very difficult, he'd never had so many questions in his life.**

"**Ministry o' Magic messin' things up as usual," Hagrid muttered, turning the page.**

"**There's a Ministry of Magic?" Harry asked, before he could stop himself.**

"Harry," Angelina Johnson chuckled.

"'**Course," said Hagrid. "They wanted Dumbledore fer Minister, o' course, but he'd never leave Hogwarts, so old Cornelius Fudge got the job.**

"I wonder why," Hermione said. "Dumbledore would be great."

_**("Because Dumbledore knows he can't handle power." The girl said to herself.)**_

**Bungler if ever there was one. So he pelts Dumbledore with owls every morning, askin' fer advice."**

"Fudge is an idiot," Ron muttered, but somehow Ginny overheard.

"Truer words were never spoken big brother."

"**But what does a Ministry of Magic **_**do**_**?"**

"**Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there's still witches an' wizards up an' down the country."**

"**Why?"**

"_**Why? **_**Blimey, Harry, everyone'd be wantin' magic solutions to their problems. Nah, we're best left alone."**

"Ain't that the truth," Lee Jordan nodded his head.

**At this moment the boat bumped gently into the harbor wall. Hagrid folded up his newspaper, and they clambered up the stone steps onto the street.**

**Passersby stared a lot at Hagrid as they walked through the little town to the station.**

"Really?" Malfoy drawled out. "I wouldn't have known had you not pointed it out, Potter."

"Shut your face Malfoy, or else." Sidney threatened.

**Harry couldn't blame them. Not only was Hagrid twice as tall as anyone else, he kept pointing at perfectly ordinary things like parking meters and saying loudly, "See that, Harry? Things these Muggles dream up, eh?"**

"Why was he sent to pick you up?" Hermione asked.

"Most likely to scare my aunt and uncle?" Harry guessed.

"Ah. Probably." said Hermione, smiling.

"**Hagrid," said Harry, panting a bit as he ran to keep up, "did you say there are **_**dragons **_**at Gringotts?"**

"**Well, so they say," said Hagrid. "Crikey, I'd like a dragon."**

"I bet he DOES get a dragon." Sirius said immediately.

"Five Galleons he doesn't." James countered.

"Deal."

"**You'd **_**like **_**one?"**

"**Wanted one ever since I was a kid — here we go."**

**They had reached the station. There was a train to London in five minutes' time. Hagrid, who didn't understand "Muggle money," as he called it, gave the bills to Harry so he could buy their tickets.**

**People stared more than ever on the train. Hagrid took up two seats and sat knitting what looked like a canary-yellow circus tent.**

"I still don't know what that was," Harry muttered.

"It was a dog pillow blanket thing for Fang." Sidney told him.

"**Still got yer letter, Harry?" he asked as he counted stitches.**

**Harry took the parchment envelope out of his pocket.**

"**Good," said Hagrid. "There's a list there of everything yeh need."**

**Harry unfolded a second piece of paper he hadn't noticed the night before, and read:**

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY**_

_**UNIFORM**_

_**First-year students will require:**_

_**1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)**_

_**2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear**_

"Why? We only wear them once." Harry asked.

"Who knows mate?" Ron told him.

"Probably just for looks." Sidney said. "'Cause ya know, we all look so hot in them." She added, sarcasm apparent in her tone.

_**3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)**_

_**4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)**_

_**Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags**_

_**COURSE BOOKS**_

_**All students should have a copy of each of the following:**_

_**The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)by Miranda Goshawk**_

_**A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot**_

_**Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling**_

_**A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch**_

_**One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore**_

_**Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger**_

_**Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander**_

_**The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble**_

"Trimble. Perfect last name for Quirrell." Sidney scowled.

_**OTHER EQUIPMENT**_

_**1 wand**_

_**1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)**_

_**1 set of glass or crystal phials**_

_**1 telescope set**_

_**1 brass scales**_

_**Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad**_

_**PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS**_

"Hate that rule," people muttered.

"Yeah, that rule is stupid. Hey, Harry, do you play Quidditch?" James asked.

"Nope." Harry said. "Not since I nearly died playing it."

"How'd you almost die from playing it?"

"Well, you see, on my first practice I fell off and… I don't like to talk about it."

_Nice joke, little bro._ Sidney told Harry mentally.

_Thanks. _Harry said back.

"**Can we buy all this in London?" Harry wondered aloud.**

"**If yeh know where to go," said Hagrid.**

**Harry had never been to London before. Although Hagrid seemed to know where he was going, he was obviously not used to getting there in an ordinary way. He got stuck in the ticket barrier on the Underground, and complained loudly that the seats were too small and the trains too slow.**

"I think Hagrid's too big." Katie Bell chuckled.

"**I don't know how the Muggles manage without magic," he said as they climbed a broken-down escalator that led up to a bustling road lined with shops.**

**Hagrid was so huge that he parted the crowd easily; all Harry had to do was keep close behind him. They passed book shops and music stores, hamburger restaurants and cinemas, but nowhere that looked as if it could sell you a magic wand. This was just an ordinary street full of ordinary people. **

"True."

**Could there really be piles of wizard gold buried miles beneath them? **

"Yes."

**Were there really shops that sold spell books and broomsticks?**

"Yes."

**Might this not all be some huge joke the Durselys had cooked up?**

"No.

"SIDNEY, WE GET THAT THIS IS ALL REAL!"

"Sorry Lily."

**If Harry hadn't known that the Dursleys had no sense of humor,**

"There's also that." James allowed himself a grin.

**he might have thought so; yet somehow, even though everything Hagrid had told him so far was unbelievable, Harry couldn't help trusting him.**

"He does have that aura, doesn't he." Luna said dreamily.

"Yeah," Harry smiled, slightly unnerved by the weirdness of this girl.

"**This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place."**

"First introduction to fame." Harry grumbled. "Not fun, that place, if you only just found out you're famous."

**It was a tiny, grubby-looking pub. If Hagrid hadn't pointed it out, Harry wouldn't have noticed it was there. The people hurrying by didn't glance at it. Their eyes slid from the big book shop on one side to the record shop on the other as if they couldn't see the Leaky Cauldron at all. In fact, Harry had the most peculiar feeling that only he and Hagrid could see it.**

"Really?" Malfoy drawled.

"Look here, _Drawco, _if you don't shut up I'll duck tape your mouth shut." Sidney warned.

"As if you could duck tape my mouth shut." Malfoy sneered.

In an instant, Malfoy's mouth was duck taped shut and Sidney hadn't seemed to have moved from her seat at all. "Good luck getting that off before dinner." She called to him.

Some people were lauging at Malfoy, others were trying to figure out how Sidney had moved so fast.

**Before he could mention this, Hagrid had steered him inside.**

**For a famous place, it was very dark and shabby. A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old bartender, who was quite bald and looked like a toothless walnut. The low buzz of chatter stopped when they walked in. Everyone seemed to know Hagrid; they waved and smiled at him, and the bartender reached for a glass, saying, "The usual, Hagrid?"**

"**Can't, Tom, I'm on Hogwarts business," said Hagrid, clapping his great hand on Harry's shoulder and making Harry's knees buckle.**

"**Good Lord," said the bartender, peering at Harry, "is this — can this be —?"**

"Leonardo DiCaprio?"

"George Washington?"

"Nope, it's Harry Freakin' Potter!" Sidney yelled.

**The Leaky Cauldron had suddenly gone completely still and silent.**

"Whoa, that's like impossible to do." James and Sirius breathed, awestruck.

"**Bless my soul," whispered the old bartender, "Harry Potter… what an honor."**

**He hurried out from behind the bar, rushed toward Harry and seized his hand, tears in his eyes.**

"**Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back."**

**Harry didn't know what to say. Everyone was looking at him. The old woman with the pipe was puffing on it without realizing it had gone out. Hagrid was beaming.**

**Then there was a great scraping of chairs and the next moment, Harry found himself shaking hands with everyone in the Leaky Cauldron.**

"I hate my fame," Harry moaned.

"I love it. Except when people try to get pictures with me. I had enough of that last year." Sidney groaned at the memory of Lockhart.

"**Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter, can't believe I'm meeting you at last."**

"**So proud, Mr. Potter, I'm just so proud."**

"**Always wanted to shake your hand — I'm all of a flutter."**

"**Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's the name, Dedalus Diggle."**

"**I've seen you before!" said Harry, as Dedalus Diggle's top hat fell off in his excitement. "You bowed to me once in a shop."**

"That'll just get him in a dither." Sprout muttered to McGonagall.

"**He remembers!" cried Dedalus Diggle, looking around at everyone. "Did you hear that? He remembers me!" Harry shook hands again and again — Doris Crockford kept coming back for more.**

**A pale young man made his way forward, very nervously. One of his eyes was twitching.**

Harry's eye twitched, Hermione scowled, Ron rubbed his knuckles, and Sidney did her weird wolf growl at the mention of their former "professor."

"**Professor Quirrell!" said Hagrid. "Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts."**

"**P-P-Potter," stammered Professor Quirrell, grasping Harry's hand, "c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you."**

"That stutter was annoying," Ernie grumbled.

"**What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?"**

"**D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts," muttered Professor Quirrell, as though he'd rather not think about it.**

"Because he's a Dark Arts git." Sidney mumbled to herself. Nobody but Harry and Hermione heard her.

"**N-not that you n-need it, eh, P-P-Potter?" He laughed**

"Stop stuttering," Hermione muttered, "or else I'll curse your remains into a pile of ashes, then I'll curse those into nothing."

**nervously. "You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires, m-myself." He looked terrified at the very thought.**

**But the others wouldn't let Professor Quirrell keep Harry to himself. It took almost ten minutes to get away from them all. At last, Hagrid managed to make himself heard over the babble.**

"**Must get on — lots ter buy. Come on, Harry."**

**Doris Crockford shook Harry's hand one last time, and Hagrid led them through the bar and out into a small, walled courtyard, where there was nothing but a trash can and a few weeds.**

**Hagrid grinned at Harry.**

"**Told yeh, didn't I? Told yeh you was famous. Even Professor Quirrell was tremblin' ter meet yeh — mind you, he's usually tremblin'."**

"Gee, I wonder why." Sidney snarled.

"Sidney, you're not usually like this towards professors. What's up with this Quirrell guy?" Remus asked.

Sidney did nothing but growl.

"**Is he always that nervous?"**

"**Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience… They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag — never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject — now, where's me umbrella?"**

_**("None of that was true." The girl snapped to the students below quietly, so that none except one could hear her. "Had you and I paid more attention, the end of the year never would have happened."**_

"_**You do realize they can't hear you, right?" the boy said.**_

"_**One them can, you know that. You know who she is.")**_

**Vampires? Hags? Harry's head was swimming. Hagrid, meanwhile, was counting bricks in the wall above the trash can.**

"**Three up… two across…" he muttered. "Right, stand back, Harry."**

**He tapped the wall three times with the point of his umbrella.**

**The brick he had touched quivered — it wriggled — in the middle, a small hole appeared — it grew wider and wider — a second later they were facing an archway large enough even for Hagrid, an archway onto a cobbled street that twisted and turned out of sight.**

"**Welcome," said Hagrid, "to Diagon Alley."**

**He grinned at Harry's amazement. They stepped through the archway. Harry looked quickly over his shoulder and saw the archway shrink instantly back into solid wall.**

**The sun shone brightly on a stack of cauldrons outside the nearest shop. Cauldrons — All Sizes — Copper, Brass, Pewter, Silver — Self-Stirring — Collapsible, said a sign hanging over them.**

"I love Diagon Alley." Lily grinned.

"Me too." Others agreed.

"**Yeah, you'll be needin' one," said Hagrid, "but we gotta get yer money first."**

**Harry wished he had about eight more eyes.**

Ron and Sidney shivered. What was with all the spider references?

**He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. A plump woman outside an Apothecary was shaking her head as they passed, saying, "Dragon liver, sixteen Sickles an ounce, they're mad…"**

"Was that mum?" Fred asked.

"I think it was!" Harry exclaimed.

**A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying Eeylops Owl Emporium — Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy. Several boys of about Harry's age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it. "Look," Harry heard one of them say, "the new Nimbus Two Thousand — fastest ever —"**

_"I love my broom," _Harry said to Sidney in his mind with a grin.

**There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels' eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon…**

"**Gringotts," said Hagrid.**

**They had reached a snowy white building that towered over the other little shops. Standing beside its burnished bronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was —**

"**Yeah, that's a goblin," said Hagrid quietly as they walked up the white stone steps toward him. The goblin was about a head shorter than Harry. He had a swarthy, clever face, a pointed beard and, Harry noticed, very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they walked inside. Now they were facing a second pair of doors, silver this time, with words engraved upon them:**

_**Enter, stranger, but take heed**_

_**Of what awaits the sin of greed,**_

_**For those who take, but do not earn,**_

_**Must pay most dearly in their turn.**_

_**So if you seek beneath our floors**_

_**A treasure that was never yours,**_

_**Thief, you have been warned, beware**_

_**Of finding more than treasure there.**_

"I love that poem," Ginny sighed.

"**Like I said, Yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it," said Hagrid.**

**A pair of goblins bowed them through the silver doors and they were in a vast marble hall. About a hundred more goblins were sitting on high stools behind a long counter, scribbling in large ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales, examining precious stones through eyeglasses. There were too many doors to count leading off the hall, and yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these. Hagrid and Harry made for the counter.**

"**Morning," said Hagrid to a free goblin. "We've come ter take some money outta Mr. Harry Potter's safe."**

"**You have his key, sir?"**

"**Got it here somewhere," said Hagrid, and he started emptying his pockets onto the counter, scattering a handful of moldy dog biscuits over the goblin's book of numbers. The goblin wrinkled his nose. Harry watched the goblin on their right weighing a pile of rubies as big as glowing coals.**

"**Got it," said Hagrid at last, holding up a tiny golden key.**

**The goblin looked at it closely.**

"**That seems to be in order."**

"**An' I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore," said Hagrid importantly, throwing out his chest. "It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen."**

"Way to make him curious, Hagrid." James said to Hagrid with a grin.

Hagrid grinned in response.

**The goblin read the letter carefully.**

"**Very well," he said, handing it back to Hagrid, "I will have someone take you down to both vaults. Griphook!"**

**Griphook was yet another goblin.**

"No! Really?" Fred gasped.

"That was my reaction to seeing another goblin too, you know." Sidney said, defending Harry.

"In that case, No! Really?"

Sidney punched him on the shoulder.

**Once Hagrid had crammed all the dog biscuits back inside his pockets, he and Harry followed Griphook toward one of the doors leading off the hall.**

"**What's the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen?" Harry asked.**

"**Can't tell yeh that," said Hagrid mysteriously. "Very secret. Hogwarts business. Dumbledore's trusted me. More'n my job's worth ter tell yeh that."**

The professors groaned. Hagrid couldn't keep a secret.

**Griphook held the door open for them. Harry, who had expected more marble, was surprised. They were in a narrow stone passageway lit with flaming torches. It sloped steeply downward and there were little railway tracks on the floor. Griphook whistled and a small cart came hurtling up the tracks toward them. They climbed in — Hagrid with some difficulty — and were off.**

"I hate those carts," Ron muttered at the same time Sidney said "I love those carts!"

**At first they just hurtled through a maze of twisting passages. Harry tried to remember, left, right, right, left, middle fork, right, left, but it was impossible.**

"I have it memorized." Sidney said proudly.

Everyone gaped at her. The carts moved so fast that it was impossible to memorize it.

_**("Why is everyone staring? It's not that weird." The girl grumbled. **_

"_**To us mere mortals it's quite a feat." The boy explained, grinning.)**_

**The rattling cart seemed to know its own way, because Griphook wasn't steering.**

**Harry's eyes stung as the cold air rushed past them, but he kept them wide open. Once, he thought he saw a burst of fire at the end of a passage and twisted around to see if it was a dragon, but too late**

— **they plunged even deeper, passing an underground lake where huge stalactites and stalagmites grew from the ceiling and floor.**

"**I never know," Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, "what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?"**

"Well a stalagmite—" Lily began.

"We all know now, since Sidney shouted it out at dinner last year." Harry grinned. Sidney stood up and bowed.

"**Stalagmite's got an 'm' in it," said Hagrid. "An' don' ask me questions just now, I think I'm gonna be sick."**

"Hagrid has a better answer," George said with a grin.

**He did look very green, and when the cart stopped at last beside a small door in the passage wall, Hagrid got out and had to lean against the wall to stop his knees from trembling.**

**Griphook unlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billowing out, and as it cleared, Harry gasped. Inside were mounds of gold coins. Columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts.**

"**All yours," smiled Hagrid.**

**All Harry's — it was incredible. The Dursleys couldn't have known about this or they'd have had it from him faster than blinking.**

"Because the goblins would let them do that," Susan rolled her eyes.

**How often had they complained how much Harry cost them to keep? And all the time there had been a small fortune belonging to him, buried deep under London. Hagrid helped Harry pile some of it into a bag.**

"**The gold ones are Galleons," he explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough. Right, that should be enough fer a couple o' terms, we'll keep the rest safe for yeh." He turned to Griphook. "Vault seven hundred and thirteen now, please, and can we go more slowly?"**

"One speed only." Everyone said, some grinning, some not.

"**One speed only," said Griphook.**

**They were going even deeper now and gathering speed. The air became colder and colder as they hurtled round tight corners. They went rattling over an underground ravine, and Harry leaned over the side to try to see what was down at the dark bottom, but Hagrid groaned and pulled him back by the scruff of his neck.**

"Harry/Potter!" half the Hall yelled.

"Nice one!" the other half exclaimed.

**Vault seven hundred and thirteen had no keyhole.**

"**Stand back," said Griphook importantly. He stroked the door gently with one of his long fingers and it simply melted away.**

"**If anyone but a Gringotts goblin tried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there," said Griphook.**

"**How often do you check to see if anyone's inside?" Harry asked.**

"About once every ten years." said Sidney, grinning evilly.

"**About once every ten years," said Griphook with a rather nasty grin.**

**Something really extraordinary had to be inside this top security vault, Harry was sure, and he leaned forward eagerly, expecting to see fabulous jewels at the very least **— **but at first he thought it was empty. Then he noticed a grubby little package wrapped up in brown paper lying on the floor.**

"I wonder what that is." Sidney said, very clearly stating that she knew.

"I have no idea Sidney. Maybe it's a jewel!" Harry said, playing along.

"Perhaps it's something worth a million Galleons!" Ron added.

"Maybe it's a dangerous weapon!" Hermione finished the game.

**Hagrid picked it up and tucked it deep inside his coat. Harry longed to know what it was, but knew better than to ask.**

"**Come on, back in this infernal cart, and don't talk to me on the way back, it's best if I keep me mouth shut," said Hagrid.**

**One wild cart ride later they stood blinking in the sunlight outside Gringotts. Harry didn't know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money. He didn't have to know how many Galleons there were to a pound to know that he was holding more money than he'd had in his whole life — more money than even Dudley had ever had.**

"**Might as well get yer uniform," said Hagrid, nodding toward Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. "Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts." He did still look a bit sick, so Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous.**

"Wait, he left you on your own?" Hermione asked her friend. At his nod, she huffed. "Hagrid!"

**Madam Malkin was a squat, smiling witch dressed all in mauve.**

"**Hogwarts, dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. "Got the lot here — another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."**

"Did you make a friend, Harry?" Lily asked.

Harry and Malfoy glared at each other, answering Lily's question.

**In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes. Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool next to him slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right length.**

"**Hello," said the boy, "Hogwarts, too?"**

"**Yes," said Harry.**

"**My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands," said the boy.**

"Why? Your mom can't choose a wand for you." Sidney said with the air of commenting on the weather.

"It's pronounced mum, Potter." Pansy Parkinson leapt to Malfoy's defense seeing as he couldn't answer because of the duck tape.

"Not if you've been raised in America." Sidney countered. "We say mom there, so it's only natural I say mom and not mum. That's the name of a flower in Kansas. Mums. They're really pretty."

Pansy could not find a retort for this.

**He had a bored, drawling voice. **

"I do not!" Malfoy wrote in the air with his wand.

"Yes you do." Three fourths of the hall said to him.

**"Then I'm going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don't see why first years can't have their own. I think I'll bully father into getting me one and I'll smuggle it in somehow."**

"Brat."

**Harry was strongly reminded of Dudley.**

"**Have **_**you **_**got your own broom?" the boy went on.**

"**No," said Harry.**

"**Play Quidditch at all?"**

"**No," Harry said again, wondering what on earth Quidditch could be.**

"Just the best sport in the world!" the Quidditch nuts yelled.

"_**I **_**do — Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?"**

"No one does, genius." A Hufflepuff second year scowled at Malfoy.

"**No," said Harry, feeling more stupid by the minute.**

"**Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been — imagine being in Hufflepuff, **

"FIND!"

**I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"**

"Hey, imagine being in the same house as Malfoy. I think I'd kill myself," George said.

_**("That's not funny to joke about!" the girl hissed."**_

"_**Calm down, he doesn't know yet." The boy murmured.)**_

"**Mmm," said Harry, wishing he could say something a bit more interesting.**

"**I say, look at that man!" said the boy suddenly, nodding toward the front window. Hagrid was standing there, grinning at Harry and pointing at two large ice creams to show he couldn't come in.**

"**That's Hagrid," said Harry, pleased to know something the boy didn't. "He works at Hogwarts."**

"**Oh," said the boy, "I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant, isn't he?"**

"Git."

"**He's the gamekeeper," said Harry. He was liking the boy less and less every second.**

"Good," the twins nodded. "Make friends with cooler people."

"So maybe I'm not fun, like Ron." Sidney said, going along with the make cooler friends.

"Or cool, like Snape." Fred put out his arm as though to put it around Snape's shoulders, but he wasn't there, obviously.

"FRED! I thought only AVPM/AVPS Ron had a bromance with Snape? Are you trying to say something?" George cried, smirking.

"NO, I'M NOT! I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING!"

"**Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort of **_**savage **_— **lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed."**

"**I think he's brilliant," said Harry coldly.**

"_**Do **_**you?" said the boy, with a slight sneer. "Why is he with you? Where are your parents?"**

"Why do you need to know?" Sirius snarled.

"**They're dead," said Harry shortly. He didn't feel much like going into the matter with this boy.**

"**Oh, sorry," said the other, not sounding sorry at all.**

"**But they were **_**our **_**kind, weren't they?"**

"Yes, they were. Get that through your fat head, Malfoy."

"**They were a witch and wizard, if that's what you mean."**

"**I really don't think they should let the other sort in, do you? They're just not the same, they've never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What's your surname, anyway?"**

"Wonder what would have happened if you told him?" Ron asked.

"He would have tried to suck up to me." Harry replied.

"True that." Sidney nodded.

**But before Harry could answer, Madam Malkin said, "That's you done, my dear," and Harry, not sorry for an excuse to stop talking to the boy, hopped down from the footstool.**

"**Well, I'll see you at Hogwarts, I suppose," said the drawling boy.**

"Do we have to?" Sirius whined.

**Harry was rather quiet as he ate the ice cream Hagrid had bought him (chocolate and raspberry with chopped nuts).**

"**What's up?" said Hagrid.**

"**Nothing," Harry lied.**

"You need to work on your lying. It gets worse every single time you try to lie!" Sidney exclaimed dramatically.

**They stopped to buy parchment and quills. Harry cheered up a bit when he found a bottle of ink that changed color as you wrote. When they had left the shop, he said, "Hagrid, what's Quidditch?"**

"**Blimey, Harry, I keep forgettin' how little yeh know — not knowin' about Quidditch!"**

"Don't remind us," the Quidditch nuts moaned.

"**Don't make me feel worse," said Harry. He told Hagrid about the pale boy in Madam Malkin's.**

"— **and he said people from Muggle families shouldn't even be allowed in —"**

"Because you're definitely from a Muggle family, Harry."

"**Yer not **_**from **_**a Muggle family. If he'd known who yeh **_**were **_— **he's grown up knowin' yer name if his parents are wizardin' folk. You saw what everyone in the Leaky Cauldron was like when they saw yeh. Anyway, what does he know about it, some o' the best I ever saw were the only ones with magic in 'em in a long line o' Muggles — look at yer mum! Look what she had fer a sister!"**

"**So what **_**is **_**Quidditch?"**

"**It's our sport. Wizard sport. It's like — like soccer in the Muggle world — everyone follows Quidditch — played up in the air on broomsticks and there's four balls — sorta hard ter explain the rules."**

"No it's not," the Quidditch teams said.

"**And what are Slytherin and Hufflepuff?"**

"FIND!"

"**School houses. There's four. Everyone says Hufflepuff**

"FIND!"

**are a lot o' duffers, but —"**

"OI!" the Hufflepuffs shouted. "There's nothing wrong with Hufflepuff!"

"Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!" Sidney yelled.

"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" Fred asked her.

"**I bet I'm in Hufflepuff,"**

"FIND!"

"WEASLEY, WEASLEY, AND POTTER! DETENTION! IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO YELL 'FIND' AFTER EVERY TIME YOU HEAR HUFFLEPUFF!"

"FIND!"

"DOUBLE DETENTION!"

**said Harry gloomily.**

"**Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin," said Hagrid darkly. "There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin. You-Know-Who was one."**

"And Moldyshorts was a git. There's nothing to it."

"**Vol-, sorry —You-Know-Who was at Hogwarts?"**

"**Years an' years ago," said Hagrid.**

**They bought Harry's school books in a shop called Flourish and Blotts where the shelves were stacked to the ceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather; books the size of postage stamps in covers of silk; books full of peculiar symbols and a few books with nothing in them at all. Even Dudley, who never read anything, would have been wild to get his hands on some of these. Hagrid almost had to drag Harry away from **_**Curses and Countercurses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and Much, Much More) **_**by Professor Vindictus Viridian.**

"**I was trying to find out how to curse Dudley."**

"We'll make a prankster out of you yet," the twins decreed.

"**I'm not sayin' that's not a good idea, but yer not ter use magic in the Muggle world except in very special circumstances," said Hagrid. "An' anyway, yeh couldn' work any of them curses yet, yeh'll need a lot more study before yeh get ter that level."**

**Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either ("It says pewter on yer list"), but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope. Then they visited the Apothecary, which was fascinating enough to make up for its horrible smell, a mixture of bad eggs and rotted cabbages. Barrels of slimy stuff stood on the floor; jars of herbs, dried roots, and bright powders lined the walls; bundles of feathers, strings of fangs, and snarled claws hung from the ceiling. While Hagrid asked the man behind the counter for a supply of some basic potion ingredients for Harry, Harry himself examined silver unicorn horns at twenty-one Galleons each and minuscule, glittery-black beetle eyes (five Knuts a scoop).**

**Outside the Apothecary, Hagrid checked Harry's list again.**

"**Just yer wand left — A yeah, an' I still haven't got yeh a birthday present."**

"Hedwig," Harry grinned.

**Harry felt himself go red.**

"**You don't have to —"**

"**I know I don't have to. Tell yeh what, I'll get yer animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago, yeh'd be laughed at**

"Toads are awesome. Dead toads… not so much." Sidney said with a shiver.

"Still afraid of little dead fishies and froggies?" James teased.

"Shut up about my weird fears!"

**an' I don' like cats, they make me sneeze. I'll get yer an owl. All the kids want owls, they're dead useful, carry yer mail an' everythin'."**

**Twenty minutes later, they left Eeylops Owl Emporium, which had been dark and full of rustling and flickering, jewel-bright eyes. Harry now carried a large cage that held a beautiful snowy owl, fast asleep with her head under her wing. He couldn't stop stammering his thanks, sounding just like Professor Quirrell.**

"**Don' mention it," said Hagrid gruffly. "Don' expect you've had a lotta presents from them Dursleys. Just Ollivanders left now — only place fer wands, Ollivanders, and yeh gotta have the best wand."**

**A magic wand… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.**

"All of us do."

**The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window.**

"It's Merlin's wand." Dumbledore said.

**A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny place, empty except for a single, spindly chair that Hagrid sat on to wait. Harry felt strangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of new questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, the back of his neck prickled.**

"You could feel that?" Remus said slowly.

"Yeah…" Harry said slowly.

"I could feel it too. It's because of my… issue. Harry's my twin so he can feel it too. However, even if I wasn't like I am now, we'd still be able to feel it."

**The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic.**

"Secret magic? I think yes." Sidney said.

"**Good afternoon," said a soft voice. Harry jumped. Hagrid must have jumped, too, because there was a loud crunching noise and he got quickly off the spindly chair.**

"So THAT'S how the chair got broken!"

**An old man was standing before them, his wide, pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop.**

"**Hello," said Harry awkwardly.**

"**Ah yes," said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work."**

"That is one good memory."

**Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Harry. Harry wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy.**

"You're not the only one who wishes that," Percy told him. "I think everyone wishes he would blink."

"**Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say your father favored it — it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."**

"How does he remember that?" James asked, weirded out.

"Search me, mate." Sirius shrugged.

**Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes.**

"**And that's where…"**

**Mr. Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, white finger.**

"Because that's totally not awkward."

"**I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it," he said softly. "Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands… well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do…"**

**He shook his head and then, to Harry's relief, spotted Hagrid.**

"**Rubeus! Rubeus Hagrid! How nice to see you again… Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it?"**

"**It was, sir, yes," said Hagrid.**

"**Good wand, that one. But I suppose they snapped it in half when you got expelled?" said Mr. Ollivander, suddenly stern.**

"**Er — yes, they did, yes," said Hagrid, shuffling his feet. "I've still got the pieces, though," he added brightly.**

"**But you don't **_**use **_**them?" said Mr. Ollivander sharply.**

"Of COURSE he doesn't." Sidney smirked.

"**Oh, no, sir," said Hagrid quickly. Harry noticed he gripped his pink umbrella very tightly as he spoke.**

"Definitely not awkward." Remus chuckled.

"**Hmmm," said Mr. Ollivander, giving Hagrid a piercing look. "Well, now — Mr. Potter. Let me see." He pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket. "Which is your wand arm?"**

"**Er — well, I'm right-handed," said Harry.**

"That's what he wanted to know, Potter." Theodore Nott drawled.

"Do you want to be duck taped too, Nott?" Sidney said, raising her duck tape threateningly.

"**Hold out your arm. That's it." He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. As he measured, he said, "Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand."**

"I knew that all along." Sidney said.

"No you didn't."

"You're right, I didn't. thank you for making me own up to my despicable lie, Herman."

"My name is Hermione."

"Sorry, Hermononucleosis."

"Sidney…"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry Hermione!"

**Harry suddenly realized that the tape measure, which was measuring between his nostrils, was doing this on its own. Mr. Ollivander was flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes.**

"**That will do," he said, and the tape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor. "Right then, Mr. Potter. Try this one. Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. just take it and give it a wave."**

**Harry took the wand and (feeling foolish) waved it around a bit, but Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of his hand almost at once.**

"**Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try —"**

**Harry tried — but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Mr. Ollivander.**

"**No, no — here, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, go on, try it out."**

"Merlin, how many wands did you have to try?" Cedric asked.

"Only forty seven or so." Harry answered, smirking.

**Harry tried. And tried. He had no idea what Mr. Ollivander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Mr. Ollivander pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become.**

"**Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere — I wonder, now — yes, why not — unusual combination — holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."**

**Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers.**

"Yay!" Ron cheered.

**He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls.**

**Hagrid whooped and clapped and Mr. Ollivander cried, "Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well… how curious… how very curious…"**

"What's curious?" Hermione asked.

**He put Harry's wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, "Curious… curious…"**

"**Sorry," said Harry, "but what's curious?"**

**Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare.**

"**I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother — why, its brother gave you that scar."**

"What the f—" Sirius' mouth was covered by Lily's hand.

"Harry doesn't need to hear any comments on how his wand is related to Voldemort's." she told him and the rest of the room severely.

"**Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember… I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter… After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great." \**

"No, he didn't praise Voldy. He just said it was a good work of magic."Sidney said before anydone could comment.

**Harry shivered. He wasn't sure he liked Mr. Ollivander too much. He paid seven gold Galleons for his wand, and Mr. Ollivander bowed them from his shop.**

"He did that for me," Sidney said rather pompously.

**The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky as Harry and Hagrid made their way back down Diagon Alley, back through the wall, back through the Leaky Cauldron, now empty. Harry didn't speak at all as they walked down the road; he didn't even notice how much people were gawking at them on the Underground, laden as they were with all their funny-shaped packages, with the snowy owl asleep in its cage on Harry's lap. Up another escalator, out into Paddington station; Harry only realized where they were when Hagrid tapped him on the shoulder.**

"**Got time fer a bite to eat before yer train leaves," he said.**

**He bought Harry a hamburger and they sat down on plastic seats to eat them. Harry kept looking around. Everything looked so strange, somehow.**

"I thought it looked normal." Sidney interrupted with an unnecessary comment.

"Are you going to be saying useless things often?" James asked.

"Depends on who's reading."

"**You all right, Harry? Yer very quiet," said Hagrid.**

**Harry wasn't sure he could explain. He'd just had the best birthday of his life — and yet — he chewed his hamburger, trying to find the words.**

"**Everyone thinks I'm special," he said at last.**

"You are."

"**All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr. Ollivander… but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they expect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for. I don't know what happened when Vol-, sorry — I mean, the night my parents died."**

"Now do you see why I hate my fame?" Harry asked, glaring at people around the room.

Nobody answered, but several people bowed their heads in a form of shame.

**Hagrid leaned across the table. Behind the wild beard and eyebrows he wore a very kind smile.**

"**Don' you worry, Harry. You'll learn fast enough. Everyone starts at the beginning at Hogwarts, you'll be just fine. Just be yerself. I know it's hard. Yeh've been singled out, an' that's always hard. But yeh'll have a great time at Hogwarts — I did — still do, 'smatter of fact."**

"Best place there is," the twins sighed.

**Hagrid helped Harry on to the train that would take him back to the Dursleys, then handed him an envelope.**

"**Yer ticket fer Hogwarts, " he said. "First o' September — King's Cross — it's all on yer ticket. Any problems with the Dursleys, send me a letter with yer owl, she'll know where to find me…. See yeh soon, Harry."**

"Hagrid didn't tell you how to get onto the platform!" Remus realized, looking worried.

Hagrid looked down. He knew he had forgotten something.

"It's alright." Harry assured Remus. "I had some help." He grinned at Ron, who grinned back.

**The train pulled out of the station. Harry wanted to watch Hagrid until he was out of sight; he rose in his seat and pressed his nose against the window, but he blinked and Hagrid had gone.**

"That's the end." James said, looking around. "Here Lily, why don't you read."

Lily sighed, but took the book.


End file.
